


Who Needs Love Anyway?

by XRider



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Hanahaki Disease, I suck at tags, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Slow Burn, klance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 40,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22896166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XRider/pseuds/XRider
Summary: A Klance centered Hanahki Disease storyLance would have never guess in a billion years that it was even possible. To choke to death for loving too much... his Momma had always said he loved too much. And now it was going to kill him...Desperate in the attempt to save himself he has to hope the one he loves will love him in return or will he have to remove the love itself to save his life.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 42
Kudos: 268





	1. Chapter

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Yes I moved this from Wattpad over to here because Wattpad can burn atm. So don't panic I didn't steal it from myself! You can still find it on Wattpad but now it will just be updated on both.

Lance wasn't even sure when it started.

A small tickle in his throat. Occasionally being out of breath a bit faster than normal. Sneezing a bit even in the confinements of the castle.

Probably just a small space cold.

Right?

Lance sneezed again and again wiggling his nose slightly before finally being able to focus back on the drill Shiro and Allura has insisted they try.

"You good Lance? You've been sneezing a lot lately," Hunk's voice buzzed through the com

"Must be some space dust or something. I guess Keith didn't clean Red as often as he should have."

Keith.

As much as he would refuse to admit it to the others, he had been lonely without the former red paladin. Maybe he just didn't have someone around to push him the same way Keith did. Maybe it was just that he felt he didn't fit as well as Shiro's right hand as he did with Keith. Maybe he had finally seen him less as a rival and teammate and more of a friend... best friend... and he just didn't want to admit it.

"Lance!"

"It's already handled," Lance grunted aiming one final blast along the fake ship causing it to combust

Small cheers erupted in his helmet as Lance muted himself for a moment to sneeze again. Seriously. It was never this bad.

"Nice job guys. Could have been executed a bit more cleanly but for a first time it was great. Let's take a break," Shiro's voice echoed inside Lance's brain

Could have been better. Yeah... if I hadn't been so sloppy sneezing my brains out.

Lance was already changed once he stepped out of the hanger. He aimed his path toward the kitchen hoping to potentially find some type of alien tea maybe to clear his senses. Something to get rid of this sneeze when he almost ran straight into Allura.

"Sorry Princess! Didn't see you," Lance felt his face redden a bit as he quickly caught the tablet she had been carrying

"You are fine Lonce! Maybe just keep your head up next time," she smiled accepting the tablet back from Lance

She tilted her head taking in the look of Lance. Lance wiggling his nose to stop yet another sneeze storm, slight blush riding his face as he felt Allura's persistent stare, and the slight bags under his eyes despite his obsessive skin care routine gave away what he had been keep secret from the others.

"Are you alright? You look like your catching something?"

Lance shrugged, "Maybe some type of cold. I should get over it before long."

"Take it easy a few days Lonce... please. And seek Coran he may have something that can help." She didn't bother hiding the slight worry from her face

"Will do Allura and don't worry I'll be good as new in a few days," he said backing his way once again toward the kitchen throwing her a flirty smile till she was no longer in sight

Lance allowed himself to take a deep breath and slump his shoulders a bit once he was free of her gaze. What would it matter anyway? It's just a cold. It's not that important.

Lance had finally rummaged up something he hoped was tea and was ready to head back to his room for a nap. Maybe he would feel better then. The sound of slightly giggling drew his attention from a passing room. He raised an eyebrow to see the group huddled around a table with monsters and mana in full go.

"Pidge was that really needed? Couldn't you have just distracted him in a normal fashion?"

"That's not as fun Hunk! I'm trying to be creative!"

He peeked in to see them all cozy together laughing as they moved through the story. Shiro and his paladin getting killed once again despite Allura's quick attempt to revive him. He liked seeing all his friends happy and at peace despite the war swelling around them. He didn't want to interrupt them so he continued his way to his room.

Lance drank his disgusting tea before curling up in his bed for a nap. He woke however coughing harshly. His breath seemed to rattle slightly inside his lungs and it felt like something kept bumping inside it. But that's just crazy talk.

Lance cleared his throat feeling an odd chill run through him. He grabbed his blankets wrapping himself up as he drug himself to the kitchen for a glass of water. The castle quiet causing his feet to echo around him as he drug himself through the hall.

His lips wrapped around the cooled bottle of water allowing the whole thing to settle his throat and rest is his stomach. He sighed opening a second one sipping it slower but finished it off as well.

Tossing both empty bottles into the bin Lance traces his steps back to his room only to pause at the center room where Pidge sat crossed legged on the sofa with a screen in front of her.

"Honestly we have been relaxing a bit the past few days. Something happened a few weeks ago and the whole balance kinda shifted here," Pidge said quietly

Lance angled himself to spot Matt on the screen in front of her. His head rested on his palm eyes narrowing at her words.

"What happened?" Matt asked his voice static filled over the distance and strain

Pidge rocked back and forth slightly for a few moments seeming unsure how to say it. She turned quickly to make sure no one was around to hear her words before turning back to her brother.

"It's been weird you know... with Lotor and all. We have been dealing with that but also something... happened. We don't really know what I just know when we were trying to put a shield up recently Shiro just went dull and freakin just stressed me out. Then something happened with Lance and Allura. Allura wants to talk about she keeps trying to bring it up to him but he refuses to even listen to it. He won't mention it."

Lance bit his lip. She was talking about how he died and Allura brought him back. Lance didn't want to talk about it. Didn't want the others to think about it. It was over. It happened. But he was here. It was fine.

Allura of course wanted to talk about it. To make sure it was all ok. She felt guilty for it happening in the first place. She was still confused on what exactly happened.

Lance wasn't... he had died... she brought him back... he was still here... fighting this stupid cold. 

"That's not all though. Lance... well he's trying to hide it but he's sick. Some sort of cold or something I guess but he won't let us take care of him either. Keeps saying it's dust, or the sun, or he just didn't sleep... I don't know I'm just worried I guess. He's not taking care of himself anymore he's too busy taking care of everyone else. I'm worried for him. He's been like this since Keith left really."

The guilt piled onto Lance hearing all this. He thought they hadn't noticed... he didn't want to burden them... and yet he did anyway.

"Speaking of Keith..." Pidge said looking at the screen but Matt shook his head

"No word yet. I still haven't heard or seen of him since Naxzela. When he tried to freakin fly himself to his doom," Matt muttered

Lance tilted his head closer to the conversation

"I swear I'm going to strangle him when he gets back... he was really going to sacrifice himself like that... just fly himself to his death to give us a maybe?" Pidge said shaking her head

"You know Keith... though he's changed since I knew him as a kid. You all are his family he would do anything to protect you all. Even if it means him leaving."

Lance couldn't take anymore as he stumbled back to his room. Keith... Keith almost died to protect them. He left to protect us. Keith... you should have just stayed... I needed you to stay.

His heart drumming through his chest and there was a ringing in his ears. A thin line of sweat broke on his brow. The world seemed to be going so fast it was at a stand still.

What was happening?

Lance felt another round of coughing fight it's way up. He stumbled back into his room coughing a little more. Tears at the edge of his eyes came through as in the final cough a small single red petal spilled past his lips.

Guess this isn't a simple cold after all.


	2. Chapter 2

In Keith's defense everything had moved very fast. He really didn't have time for it. That didn't stop the words from echoing in Lance's head vibrating his very being.

"I don't have time for this, Lance!"

Yeah they really didn't did they. It's fine though. It doesn't matter. It's the universe that is at stake anyway.

Lance made him self a silent promise in that moment and backed off. They had other things to worry about... Lotor. Well it started out with just Lotor. Then it escalated.

Soon Lotor's Generals broke in. Then Shiro went rouge. Everything was moving so quickly. Lance's lungs were struggling a bit with the pressure. A faint tickle caused him to cough as he ran to the hanger toward Red.

Red roared as her paladin arrived ready to join the fray. Lance stifled a round of sneezing as he quickly joined the fight. Feeling that familiar thrill of connection with his lion forced the issue with his breathing out of his mind.

When Keith called to form Voltron Lance closed his eyes savoring the feeling of being connected with his fellow paladins. Lance clutched the line to Black maybe a bit more than he would with Shiro but who could blame him. He was once again at the right hand of his once rival that grew to what he thought was close friends.

That was before Keith left. Abandoned the team. Lance always played back the offer he made to step down from being the red paladin and let Keith take back over. He always wish he had just left and not said a thing. Keith was a better red paladin anyway.

The fight wasn't going well despite the fact they were battling to the best they could. But Lance's heart really sank when Keith told them to disband and propelled himself through the wormhole. Alone.

It shouldn't be a surprise. Keith was always stupidly loyal to a fault. Especially for Shiro. Lance felt that twinge of jealousy wishing he could have the same connection but shook it off heading back to the castle.

That's when the problems seemed to keep rising. Shiro left a virus knocking out the Castle's systems. The clock was on again. There was no time to be distracted.

But Allura was.

Lance watched with concern as Coran's words seemed to just fly over her. Her nose scrunched slightly eyebrows lined in worry. Lotor has lied to all of them, but she had trusted him the most. Lance had watched her fall in love with him and it hurt. He had always wanted his love with Allura to be matched. It seems like he lost. To a purple child of the devil himself.

"Allura," Lance called to her gaining her attention to the problem at hand

She snapped back to attention rebooting the system. Her gaze still lost. Lance felt for her. He really did. Maybe in a different way then he realize. When Krolia and Romelle left Lance approached her with hesitance. She was quick to explain her guilt and take the blame for all that was happening.

"He didn't just fool you. He fooled us all," Lance finished trying to ease her guilt

Lance was soon trapped in a hug from her as the tears she had been holding back leaked down her cheeks. Trailing a light path over her bright Altean marks. Any other time he would have been thrilled to have Allura in his arms. So why not not?

The room suddenly seemed a bit brighter but Lance wasn't focused on that. A sudden bout of cough tore through him wrecking his chest and throat. Lance felt a slight panic as he attempted to stifle it as he felt the smoothness of a petal in his mouth.

"Lance we really need to get that checked. It's getting worse," Allura said placing a hand on his back

He nodded quickly swallowing the stray petal turning to see Keith's face looking down at the pair on the screen.

"Keith!"

He's okay! He's alright! He's alive!

Keith quickly filled them in. No messing around per norm. Lance didn't know why it seemed to hurt so much. It didn't matter anyway. They had a battle to prepare for. Not that Lance ever felt ready for it.

The battle was a mess. Lance could hardly keep track. One moment they were almost beat then Keith appeared and now they were diving into the Quintessence Field to keep the fight going. The worry for the battle left Lance as soon as they entered. The cloudiness for his lungs seemed to lift. He could breath for the first time in ages. He felt lighter and better than he had even before he started coughing up petals.

Then the realization set in and as soon as they escaped he was sent into another heavy fit. Quickly muting himself from the others unable to prevent the small red petals from spilling onto the floor of Red, who seemed to let out a noise of concern. It went unnoticed and Lance was quickly caught up to the new situation.

They really couldn't catch a break. They were about to lose their home. The one place Lance had finally come to enjoy and savor. Not anymore. The Castle of Lions was officially on it's finally countdown.

Lance was dragging Kaltenecker through the hall. She was the last thing he needed to pack and of course she was being difficult. Lance almost turned the corner straight into Keith. Quickly moving Kaltenecker's head away from the littlest Blade member so she didn't knock him to the ground.

"Sorry," Lance quickly mumbled a pink guilty twinge sparked his cheeks

Keith however didn't move on. Instead his eyes locked on Lance for probably the first time since everything started. That old feeling seemed to creep in on him but he pushed it away. It didn't matter anyway he had saw the hug with Allura. Lance was finally getting his chance with her and he was happy for him.

"Do you need any help with anything else?" Keith asked seeming to finally find his voice

Lance shook his head, "She is all I have left. Pidge might though."

Lance let the sentence drift as he turned his attention to Keith's face looking at it properly since he arrived back. Lance felt the concern line his face as his eyebrows dipped in and a frown appeared. He let a hand stray to Keith's face hovering over a bruise before moving to the fresh burn across most of Keith's cheek. Keith flinched slightly from the heat of Lance's hovering hand.

"We need to take care of that," Lance said wrapping a hand around Keith's wrist dragging him with Kaltenecker

Keith went to protest about the shortage of time but felt it die before it could fully form. Instead he allowed himself to be dragged behind Lance. He reexamined every aspect of the lanky Cuban. It had only been months for Lance and the crew but it had been two years for Keith. Two long years without his team. Without Lance. A feeling of calm seemed to finally settle now that he realized he had them back.

Once Kaltenecker was settled in Red Lance had Keith sit as he dug around for his personal med kit. He always had one near just in case. He pulled the odd purple goop giving Keith a bit of warning as he began to spread it across the burn. Keith hissed fingers curling to fists as the initial pain seemed to bring back the reminder of what had happened. Then a cooling effect began.

Lance moved quickly placing a few other ointments on other less major injuries ignoring Keith's small noises of pain. He felt those dark eyes hovering on every single one of his movements and felt that feeling of fluttering well up inside him.

No. Behave. You don't have a chance anyway.

Lance was soon finished and was cleaning the kit away when curiosity finally beat him.

"How did it happen?"

Keith rubbed his arm awkwardly looking at the floor. Lance felt himself freeze as the name Shiro managed to drop out of Keith's mouth. He looked up at Keith who look so beat in that very moment it tightened his chest. The brush of petals tickling his lungs as he took a deep breath.

"We will get him help Keith. I promise. We will figure it out," Lance gave a quick squeeze of Keith's shoulder

Keith sighed nodding sliding off ready to head back to his lion. A small beep reminded them of the time. Keith stuffed his hands in his pockets dipping his head toward the floor.

"Thank you for... you know," But Lance simply waved a hand back still turned signalling him not to worry about it

Keith was just walking out when he heard a deep coughing start from inside Red. He almost kept going but turned back when it didn't stop. What he saw however made him pause in his tracks.

Lance almost to his knees coughing violently into the crook of his arm. Eyes watering from the force. A small shudder followed by another cough that spilled a few small red petals to the floor. Lance mumbled something and collected the petals. Keith quickly ducked out of sight watching Lance dump the petals out of Red.

Red seemed to let out a weird sound of concern as her paladin began to wake her. She knew something was off. She could sense her former paladin near and hoped he would figure it out soon. Her kits needed help.

Red roared before taking off sending the little red petals scattering along the the Castle floor. One drifting over Keith's foot. He bent to pick it up rubbing the smooth petal between his fingers. Worry for Lance suddenly the only thing on his mind.


	3. Chapter 3

One problem after another. You just have to move on. Don't have time to think about the last one. But Keith couldn't let one go.

It had been decided to go back to Earth to get the plans for a new Castle but the lions needed to recharge. So off the others were off looking for Faunatonium while a few stayed with Shiro. Keith was a bit torn on it. He needed to stay with Shiro... he had to. But he needed to talk to Lance.

What had he seen? What was going on? How long had it been going on? How do they stop it?

Surely coughing up flower petals was not a good thing... for humans at least. There was that alien race who did make them appear out of nowhere... and everywhere.... but Lance wasn't an alien. At least not that they knew

Keith closed his eyes letting memories of Shiro flood through his mind. He prayed Shiro could use them as well to fight to stay in this body. He couldn't lose Shiro again. Not after everything.

But he also wasn't ready to lose Lance... Heck who could ever be ready to lose him. He had missed him desperately when he was stuck in the quantum abyss. He had missed everyone but Shiro and Lance had been the pair that invaded his mind the most. He knew his mother had seen it all too. Which maybe why she didn't question him staying with Shiro at the moment instead of helping the others.

"I have a question... maybe one of you may know," Keith whispered eyes never leaving Shiro's vitals

Krolia's ear twitched at the loaded moment. Her son normal just blunt about things. This seem hesitant. Almost afraid. He was rarely afraid.

"Have any of you heard of one coughing up flower petals?" Keith almost didn't want to say it out loud but he had to know

Allura frowned her eyes moving from Shiro to Keith who didn't even seem to blink. Krolia also frowned adjusting her gaze to her son.

"It use to be common for Alteans actually," Allura started, "It is rather dangerous. Typically starts with just minor coughing then goes on to full flowers if not addressed. They can suffocate one. Killing them in a slow painful way."

"How do you end it?"

"Is there something we need to know Keith?" Krolia pressed thinking of the danger her son could be in

Keith shook his head. His eyes narrowing a bit as Shiro's numbers dropped a degree before steadying again for the moment.

"It's not me... I just... thought I saw it somewhere and it's been bugging me. Didn't make sense."

Allura seemed to sigh a bit in relief, "Well that tends to be the issue. It's called Hanahki Disease or the flower curse at times. It is born out of a one sided love. The one who coughs the flowers is romantically in love with someone very dearly but the other does not return the love. The only way to end it is the one they love must naturally fall in love with them, not forced or tricked, or there is always the surgery."

"That surgery though," Krolia started finger on her chin in thought, "It is tricky isn't it? They lose the love once the plant is removed. They often can't love again after that."

Allura frowned her eyes lined back to Shiro's virals as they dropped another point. She placed a hand on the pod. Not that she could do more in this moment.

"You are right. They tend not to be able to love let alone trust again. Not to mention in some cases it's not uncommon to lose memory of the loved one. In even more severe cases they lose memory of all loved ones. Romantic or not. They don't recall any friends or family after. It can be truly heartbreaking." Allura's voice seemed to drift

So Lance was in danger. Keith guesses that he hasn't bothered mentioning it to anyone either. Why wouldn't he? He could die. He was putting himself at risk for what? Who had he fallen in love with that much anyway.

Then it hit him and he couldn't help but glance at her.

Allura

Of course. Lance had always liked her to almost an extravagant point. He hadn't hidden it. So he must have truly fallen for her when Keith was gone. Maybe even before.

"What happens if they run out of time without the help? And how long do they normally have?" Keith swallowed hard mind spinning on how he could fix this

"Well they die. The flowers fill and squeeze the lungs till they can no longer breath. Extremely painful death. As for how long well that's the tricky part," Allura's finger on her chin

Keith took his eyes fully off Shiro for the first time and turned toward Allura. He tried to keep the desperation off his face but he could feel it building inside him. How long did Lance have?

"Typically by the time they start coughing up actual petals it has already been some time. Once they start coughing up full flowers they have only a few movements left. The speed of it however varies per situation. The average is anywhere from eight to twelve phoebs. Some can last as long as sixteen though in some cases but I've heard of some that only last a mere three phoebs. It's really not an easy way to tell without scans."

Keith nodded dumbly looking back at Shiro. Panic swelling inside him fully. He had to help him. He had to help Lance. When he gets back... they will talk when he gets back. Lance was a key paladin of Voltron. They couldn't afford to lose him.

"What's with the-" But Krolia was interrupted but the levels on Shiro's pod suddenly dropping again

Keith slammed his fist on the pod, "Fight Shiro. Please. Keep fighting."

Keith held his breath and closed his eyes begging every entity to help. Just once. Let luck turn their way. Let him win this. Shiro deserved to go back home. Back to Adam.

There was a gasp as suddenly the light shone on the pod signaling he was waking. His stats suddenly adjusting. Not perfect but much much better. The pod opened and Shiro sat up quickly.

Keith felt himself smile without hesitation as Shiro's eyes focused on him. The door behind them slid open and the group came in.

"Well Shiro is lookin better!" Lance said as soon as he walked in a big goofy grin on his face

Keith felt his attention shift from Shiro to Lance. Taking in the boy. He seemed happy. Didn't seem to be struggling. But now Keith knew. Knew what was growing inside him. How much danger he was in. 

He needed to help Lance now. Lance was now his mission and he planned on making sure he would never lose the memory of those he loved. A slight ache ran through him as he realized what it meant.

He was going to have to help Allura fall in love with Lance.


	4. Chapter 4

Keith was waiting for his chance. He would see Lance dart here and there but never staying in one place very long. They were just waiting for Pidge to finish scanning the lions before heading to Earth. Back home.

Home

Man it had been awhile. The way the team seem to light up at the idea of finally going home. After all this time. Lance had started rambling in Spanish almost bouncing around Hunk once the whole idea actually came into place.

And while Keith felt that distant bit of excitement to see Earth again there was a more pressing matter.

Lance

Keith finally cornered him as he found Lance had let Kaltenecker out for some grazing time before they left. Lance sat perched on a rock set not far from her seeming to be writing in a fairly tattered blue notebook.

"What are you doing?" Keith drew Lance's attention away from the book

Lance's eyes widen slightly as he closed it a slight blush appearing on his face. He looked back down at it rubbing a thumb over a heavy crease on the front. Most likely from it being rolled a few times.

"It's nothing... just for my family," Lance muttered seeming like he was still debating on hiding it

Keith cautiously stepped forward eyeing the book. Looked like a standard blue notebook they had you use in class but with some alien writing on the front instead. Heavily tattered. Some stains or small tears like it had been through every bit of space with Lance too. So why hadn't he seen it before?

"What is it... specifically?" Keith tried again standing in front of Lance looking at the book

Lance fumbled with it slightly red

"It doesn't matter you are just going to make fun of me," he said quietly

"Says who?"

"Says every other time," Lance muttered effectively putting it behind his back

Keith sighed sitting now on the rock formation having to look up at Lance. Lance returned his gaze annoyed the typically flirty cockiness gone. Lance still hadn't forgotten the first words Keith had spoken to him right before the whole evil Lotor thing. They only had a minute after the fight when Lance insisted Keith's injuries needed attention.

But Lance was avoiding Keith for a reason. He was mad. He had every right to be he thinks... not that it matters. Lance had tried his whole life to one up Keith. The whole rivalry where he was always second best had stuck with him here even as teammates. Even as they became best friends. It was always still there in the back of his mind haunting him.

Then he just leaves. Leaves the team. Leaves Lance. Running around the galaxy self sacrificing himself at any possible moment. Of course he had the right to be mad.

And now after all of this Keith suddenly decides to take an interest in him in a non competitive way? Lance just felt it was a trick... right? Or had his magical time on the stupid space whale changed him somehow.

"I'm not leaving till you tell me," Keith firmly added eyes not wavering

Lance gave a few minutes and sighed pulling it out from behind him. Once again running a thumb over the worn cover.

"I may have kinda accidentally stole it... when we got Kaltenecker. Well ok maybe not stole it it may have been a part of the deal I'm not really sure I forgot to ask... but I just write in it about the stuff that happens I guess. So I can give it to them if I got back home."

"If?" Keith caught that small detail as it seemed to annoy him

"Well I mean just in case right? We are in space fighting a war after all I'm not an idiot I know what that includes. We've seen what happens already."

Silence fell between them for a bit. Mentally thankful they were still here to have this conversation. They had been lucky.

"Aren't you suppose to be the positive one?" Keith asked with a small smile

Lance snorted thinking of how he was properly one of the least positive of the group. With himself anyway. He just made sure the others didn't feel it. They needed to stay positive.

"Anyway... I kinda needed to speak to you..." Keith suddenly felt hit was a bit of nerves

Lance did that stupid head tilt that the wolf also did that Keith could always feel his willpower weaken at. It was so adorable no matter who did it apparently.

"I... saw what happened in Red right before we left the castle... with the petals..."

Keith held his breath. Did Lance even know what he was dealing with? Was he going to be mad and Keith for spying. Was it really spying though?

"Oh don't worry about it it's nothing," Lance quickly brushed off the subject clutching his book looking over at Kaltenecker ready to run back to Red and avoid this

"No Lance please," these words caused him to freeze

How often has Keith said please to him like that? In such a desperate begging tone?

Never really.

"Do you even know what it is? The danger you are in? In all seriousness Lance do you even know what is happening?"

Lance avoided looking at Keith as he shook his head. He heard Keith groan mumbling under his breath. Lance was ready to argue back to defend himself. He was going to get called an idiot again wasn't he.

"Look Keith I don't have time for this ok. We can talk later. We have a long trip back to Earth. I'm sure you have time to get after me then."

Lance stood letting his feet slide down the rocks sending small bits running for cover. His landing didn't even seem jostled as he stepped down toward Kaltenecker.

"Wait Lance no it's important please!" Keith wrapped a hand on the upper part of Lance's arm gently asking him to stop

It worked.

Lance slowly turned and faced Keith looking annoyed but in truth he was terrified. Keith never had acted like this in the past. Why did this matter so much? Was this really a bad thing or just an alien thing he picked up along the way?

"It's called Hanahki Disease or flower disease. Flowers bloom inside you suffocating you and making you cough up petals and eventually flowers. Lance if you don't take care of it you will die. We need to figure this out."

But did it even matter

"What even causes it?" Lance licked his lips trying to settle his breathing

"Unrequited love."

Lance snorted shoving his hands in his pockets kicking the small cluttered rocks that had tried to escape from him earlier, "Perfect just perfect," he muttered

Keith also placed his hands back in his pockets. This was the stuff he wasn't good at. The emotional, talking of feelings stuff. He needed to though. Lance couldn't hide the worry now on his face. The same worry that had been building but he had just refused to stress anyone else about.

"So what I'm screwed? That's it? All because I fell for someone who could never love me back. Because I'm an absolute idiot. An idiot. Why why why why why!"

Why did it have to be HIM!

"You're not screwed... there are a couple ways... to help I guess," Keith felt the blue eyes quickly fasten to him at full attention

"The first is hopefully have other person fall in love with you. Can't trick them or use magic or anything has to be like... not forced you know..."

Lance ran a hand over his face. That small dip of hope he had held onto waaaaaaaay back then absolutely gone at this point.

"Lance...." Keith swallowed hard testing it, "Lance if it's Allura we-"

"It's not Allura," Lance interrupted startling Keith

"Since when?" Keith couldn't hold the shock from his voice

Lance shrugged, "you've... you've missed a lot."

"Then wait who is it?"

Lance let the question linger in the air. His eyes fixed on the ground letting his thoughts simmer. After the last few days he hadn't been able to let his thoughts simmer at all. Did he know the answer to the question? Yeah. Was he ready to have his already breaking heart beat into the ground a bit more by the rejection? Absolutely not.

"It was just some alien girl on one of our trips... I just thought I really liked her and it was mutual. We stayed in contact for a bit but then she just... left. Not long after is when this all started..."

"Lance...."

Lance waved him off. He could hear the poor Lance tone growing. Not today. He had enough of today.

"What's another way," Lance prompted still looking at the ground

"You can get them surgically removed... but there are complications often with it where it's so tricky," Keith blinked trying to focus back

What had he missed? All that time away Lance had moved on from Allura and fell for another girl. Lover boy at his finest... love really would be his downfall.

"Complications?"

"Yeah. You lose the love for that person... it's not uncommon for someone never to fall in love again after. Also you can lose memories not just if the one who caused this... but all your friends and family," Keith let his voice trail now know this was the only option for Lance and a sharp pain seemed to leak through him for the boy

"Any other options?" Lance seemed to fake the optimism in his voice as he asked

"You let them kill you... but that's not an option on the table here ok. We aren't going to let that happen."

"Alright mullet," Lance chuckled, "so I guess I've got to find myself someone who knows how to remove them huh. Maybe we can get lucky and find one on our way back to Earth."

"I can start searching but Lance just take it easy till then ok. Take care of yourself for a bit."

"Yeah oh and Keith!"

Keith looked to Lance who was now next to Kaltenecker getting ready to bring her back in his notebook held in his left hand.

"Please don't tell the others ok... I haven't told them because I don't want them to freak out. We have enough stuff to deal with already. They don't need another thing added to the list."

"But Lance they are your teammates. Friends. Shouldn't you-" but Lance shook his head

"Please Keith. Just between you and me."

Keith could feel those blue eyes begging. The worry still in them. The fear. Keith didn't know how to make it go away. To comfort him. To give him what he really needed. So he just nods.

"Between you and me."

The moment Lance entered Red he pulled back out that tattered blue notebook and pencil. Dulled tip, eraser basically useless at this stage, but it didn't matter. Lance's hand hesitated over the paper for just half a second collecting the thoughts of what just happened.

"Momma I messed up."


	5. Chapter 5

They have had better days... 

Like seriously... it has just been one thing after another. 

The alert sounded while they were at the Mamora base that they were being attacked... again.

Lance was really starting to regret this whole taking a robotic blue lion into space thing.

Now here they were trapped waiting for Coran to be their savior... Great.

"Will you stop it," Keith hissed at Lance who was still looking for secret passages

"Do you have a better plan?"

Keith did not. But what good was kicking different sections of the wall at this point. Krolia was staring out of the door keeping watch while the others also seemed about as useless as Keith felt in that moment. 

Keith's focus suddenly changed as Lance stifled a cough from near the door earning a glare from Krolia. Keith felt his worry pitch up to his throat. Lance wanted to keep this a secret. If he started coughing up petals everyone would know. 

"Lance, I thought you were getting Coran to taking care of that cough?" Allura said tilting her head towards him a bit

"It's nothing. Swear," Lance said waving a hand to her going back to examine the walls

His face changed though it no longer seemed to be fixated at the walls. Instead he licked his lips and seemed to be trying to steady his breathing. Trying to prevent another fit.

"We just need to patient. Things will work out. They always do," Keith let his voice carry through to the others more to draw attention away from Lance than anything

"Since when were you the motivational type?" Lance muttered tuning around finally

"Shut up Lance," Pidge said causing Lance to roll his eyes

Time seemed to drag on. Everyone occasionally switching spots to keep from their limbs becoming numb. Keith kept feeling his eyes wander over to Lance then to Shiro. Neither of these two should be here. Shiro was still healing. Lance was well... Lance

Krolia backed from the door and soon footsteps could be heard from the outside. A whole group. Too many to fight against like this. Sure enough the door opened to more guards and surprise rolled over the group as some of Lotor's generals came through as well. The questions started rolling but they had no answers to them. They were there too right they should know.

Ezor made a move toward Pidge but Lance dove in the way only to be quickly slammed into the wall and have a blaster pointed at him. Keith took a step toward him but froze as another blaster was aimed at him. Lance coughed a bit as he adjusted position keeping an eye on the blaster pointed toward him. 

Ezor laughed at the boy's poor attempt and in another flash had Pidge dangling in the air. Panic now filled the bones of those in the room as Pidge was no longer safe. Keith's eyes now darting to the paladins in the most danger a plan sinking in.

Just jump in front of them. Take the hit for them. 

But before Keith could react an alert started. Red lights flashed around grabbing everyone's attention. Obviously annoyed they were interrupted from getting their information Ezor and Zethrid quickly left to handle the situation. 

"When that door reopens we are going to rush the guard," Krolia whispered to the group

Everyone rushed to position waiting only to have the door open to the mice. Lance couldn't help but let out a snicker at the sight of the mice standing atop of the guard. They sure were very useful. Lance's good mood soured at the look of Keith's face at the mention of Acxa's name. 

It also seemed to trigger that stupid tickle in his throat. He tried to clear it but had to cave and lean over to cough. He felt a hand on his back as he quickly prevented a stray petal from sliding past his lips.

"Seriously Lance as soon as we are out of here Coran is taking a look at you," Hunk said patting his back

Lance blinked back the water forming in his eyes as he stood feeling the eyes of the group on him. 

"I'm fine guys. Let's just go," and Lance peaked his head around the corner before moving out

The group moved swiftly through eventually finding Coran. Lance and Keith quickly support the Altean and began the search for their bayards. This was the first time since Keith had been back that he felt in work with the team. Maybe it was just being this close to them for the first time in so long. He couldn't help but sneak glances over at Lance besides him.

He had changed. This was the first time he got to actually see him in this type of setting since he had been back. He had grown so much in the time Keith had left with the blade. It hurt. He really had been better off without him. 

Lance motioned for them to stop as they approached a room. They peaked and spotted a pair of guards joking around with the bayards and helmets. Lance felt at ease with Keith stepping to the side letting Lance take control of the team even if it was just for a bit. They didn't have much time to think of a plan however as Coran, in his slightly disoriented state, gave away their position. 

Lance felt the panic spread as he turned to Keith hoping he had thought of a plan. Keith had his eyes closed in thought. Lance was tempted to reach a hand to him to bring him back but was struggling as it was to keep Coran under control. 

Keith suddenly leaped into the room bayard in hand and in a matter of seconds had the pair down. The others rushed in to claim their gear. Lance still blinking slightly in surprise.

"Lance, lead the way. Keep the team together."

Wait... wait... why me... Why not Shiro...

Keith moved past the others as they tossed the correct gear to the correct paladin but Lance caught Keith's arm as he moved passed him.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Acxa saved our skin, I'm not going to leave her behind."

There it is was again. That feeling in Lance's stomach that tickled his throat. That annoying little pest. Lance fought the urge to clear his throat.

"No. No I won't leave you behind," Lance tightened his grip on Keith's arm

"You won't. I'll catch up. Promise," Keith flashed Lance one of those small half smiles before sliding his arm out of Lance's grip and leaving

Lance felt that cloud come back in an instant. The same cloud that came the first time Keith left. Now it felt more present. Heavier. No... I won't lose him today.

"Let's get to the lions," Lance sighed as everyone finished tugging on the rest of their gear

No one seemed to question why Keith put Lance in charge and not Shiro. Except for Lance but now wasn't the time to question the Mullet head's dumb decisions. They managed a clear path to the lions for the most part only cutting down a few guards here and there. Then they waited. 

Lance was getting more and more on edge the longer Keith went without contact. Drumming on his leg. He was struggling to swallow and tried once again to clear his throat and hold off the coughing. Then there he was. His voice asking to fire in on his position.

Lance felt his heart lighten but his worry grew. Keith must be in trouble. 

They took aim at the ship sending their beams to Keith's position. An explosion rocked the ship sending Lance's heart to his throat.

Where was he... Keith come on...

Black suddenly flew toward a section of smoke and Keith appeared dragging Acxa behind him. Lance felt his shoulders sag in relief as Keith entered black but couldn't fight the cough anymore. He quickly removed his helmet almost landing on his knees at the force of the cough. Petals slipping past his lips tickling his throat as they came up. 

They regrouped finding a planet to cover on for a bit. The lions in terrible shape from the tiny battle. Lance exited Red his eyes attempting to locate Keith. Relief swallowed him the moment Keith's eyes met Lance giving him a small nod. Acxa appearing just behind him. 

They began to take cover in a cave. Making a fire for warmth. Lance moved toward the space wolf and began to treat his injuries to the best of his abilities. The wolf licking and nudging him lightly in response. He felt Keith's eyes lock in on him sending warmth crawl up his collar bone to his face. The wolf licking at the redness now on his cheeks.

"Catch us up... A lot seems to have changed in a few weeks," Lance said now seating himself next to Allura well aware Keith's eyes followed

"Weeks? Its been three deca-phoebs since Voltron was last spotted..." 

Acxa's words seemed to roll over the group. Three years gone. Three years without Voltron. Everyone must have thought they were dead...

Lance felt like the wind had been sucked from him. Everyone... He had already left his family but they knew because of Pidge's father he was alive. The recording. But if word got out that Voltron was dead... His family...

The conversation rolled on over Lance. He could only hear bits and pieces. About how Acxa's path lead her to Keith. Lotor being power hunger. It all didn't matter in that moment Lance couldn't take it anymore.

Lance felt his feet drag him out the room. Arms folded over his chest eyes already stinging. 

"Wait Lance," Pidge's voice echoed to him as she stood to reach him

Lance however was already out of the entrance moving off to the side trying to control the tears a bit longer. He felt a small tentative hand reach his shoulder almost the moment his knees hit the ground. Tears streaming at this point. He failed at holding them back.

"Lance," Pidge's voiced seemed cracking with effort as well

Her eyes struggling to focus on the boy in front of her as her tears were also flowing over. 

"They probably think we are dead Pidge. Our family. We have to hurry to them. Pidge... my Mama..." Lance's voice cracked again 

"I know Lance we... we will see them... we will," Pidge's voice almost drowned by her tears

Lance reached over wrapping her into a hug. The pair clinging to each other as the tears flowed. It wasn't till several hesitant minutes later did they feel the soothing palms of another. Hunk now joining in the hug fighting back his own tears. 

Lance moved a hand to his mouth unable to hide this cough from the others. He caught the few petals that slipped through quickly crushing them in his hand as he readjusted his hug on Pidge. 

They needed to get home but Lance wasn't even sure if he had enough time to get back to his family anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

They were almost ready to leave again for the long journey home. Then Allura just had to be THAT person. 

"Oh Lance! Coran! Could you come here please!"

The thought had completely left his mind. There hadn't been a tickle or cough since the small cry session with Pidge and Hunk. He thought he was in the clear. He was wrong. 

"Coran if that pod we used for Shiro is still operational can we give Lance a quick scan before we leave? He's had a pesky cold and it's been a tad worrying."

It took all of Lance's might not to glare at the princess in that moment. 

"No problem we can get right on that!" Coran said quickly steering Lance towards Black who still had the pod in her

Lance began to feel himself panic. The pod would tell Coran... his secret out to even more people. He hadn't wanted Keith to know but he had to be Keith and know anyway. Coran too? He surely would say something to the others. 

"Oh hey, what are you two up to?"

Keith! 

"We are finally getting Lance's stubborn cold checked before we leave. I'm a bit low on meds so I don't want to waste time guessing rather just know what it is!" Coran said with an odd amount of joy

Lance took his shot sending a pleading look at Keith. Anything to keep him out. The others couldn't know. They have enough to worry about. 

"I can take him from here and let you know the results. I think Pidge had some questions she wanted to ask you before takeoff."

Keith was an absolute God sent 

"Oh ok! Let me know what it says and I'll be sure to give it to you before we leave!" 

Relief flooded through Lance. He seriously owed Keith. He could ask for his first born at this point and he would give it to him. 

"You know it wouldn't be a bad idea to put you in and see how it all is... if it can even tell us," Keith muttered as soon as Coran was out of earshot 

"I don't want to waste your time Keith, I'm sure you have things to-"

"They are already going to think you are in it anyway so might as well. Plus I'm ready to go already. I don't have anything to do," Keith cut Lance off before he could continue

Lance sighed and followed Keith toward the pod. Hesitating slightly as he grabbed the pod suit. Keith was still in the room and didn't seem to intend on leaving for him to change. 

Lance felt his face redden slightly at the thought. So he kept his back to Keith while changing. Attempting to slide on the suit as quickly as possible getting a leg trapped at one point forcing him to hop around for an extra moment. But he didn't hear any laughter. 

"Is... is that the scar from saving Coran?"

Lance felt his whole face flush as he zipped the final bit. Not ready to turn and face Keith just yet. 

"Yeah... guess you haven't really seen it since what the pool?"

Keith fought off his own blush remembering the day. 

"It was still healing then. I thought maybe the pod was going to heal it completely. You know Altean magic stuff," Keith muttered the final half

Lance simply shrugged finally turning around to step into the pod. He felt Keith's eyes linger a tad longer than normal sending his face into another heat. He quickly tried to shake it off and gave a deep breath as Keith shut the pod and began his work. 

Keith watched as Lance's eyes fluttered shut and the pod began to scan. That gnawing worry still deep inside his bones.

He had been gone for two years only to come back and find Lance like this. Suffering because some stupid alien girl who didn't love him back. Granted a very similar position to when he left. Lance, out of everyone who gave his heart into everything and to everyone, didn't deserve this. Just tossed aside. He had done the same though. When he first came back. 

I don't have time for this, Lance 

And he constantly regretted it. There just wasn't the time at the moment. He needed to apologize... he just didn't know how. 

He had never been good with this... the feelings part. He had panicked when he first realized that the constant bickering and annoyance of Lance was actually endearing. When he realized he actually liked Lance he really panicked. Lance had really stepped up when they needed him... when Keith need him... he knew that. He just didn't expect for a crush to develop in the process. 

The time with the blade however did him some good. He was able to shake it off. Focus. Keep his mind on the mission. Soon he wasn't thinking about Lance everyday life went back to normal for him. 

But it didn't feel right. 

When he got stuck on that whale Lance was there everyday. All the time. In memories he recognized in others he didn't. The others were often there too but... Lance was there the most. Shiro too but the feeling... was not the same. He began to despise Lance a bit for it. Constantly being in his mind. That was really why he snapped when he finally got back. 

Now he realized how much he had actually missed him. It still wasn't the same though as before. Not really missing like in the crush sense... just missing him. They had become friends after all. It was hard not to miss Lance anyway. 

The figures were finally popping up just as the pod opened for Lance who stumbled out slipping slightly. Keith quickly caught him before he could fall keeping an arm on him as he regained control of his limbs. He quickly tried to stifle a cough but failed as several red petals slipped past his lips to the floor. 

They would almost be beautiful if they were going to kill him. 

"What's it say," Lance wheezed 

He looked up from his slight curl to see a slightly worried Keith still holding him. Arms tight around his waist keeping him up. He blinked a few times before turning his attention back to the screen. 

"I still am not the best at reading Altean... so far nothing we didn't already know... there is a medication that can help ease the coughing and pain... Are you in pain?"

"Not really. At least not yet..." Lance answered finally able to stand on his own

"Ummm not really seeing much help on anything else... wait hold on," Keith scrolled glancing through looking for maybe any person or planet that could help 

However this was seriously outdated at this point chances are whoever listed probably couldn't help anyway. Then it caught his eye. 

"What?" Lance had noticed the pause in Keith's scrolling 

"Four months... we have four months to get this taken care of."

"Maybe we will get lucky and find someone on the way..." but the hope was gone from Lance's voice as well as his eyes, "Let's be honest though it's not worth the panic."

Keith had never seen his blue eyes so dull. 

"Lance we will figure it out ok... we will find someone... maybe we can contact someone I promise we-" But lance shook his head at Keith cutting him off

"Don't make promises. It's ok... really Keith. The chances we find someone between here and Earth with the rate the lions are going... not looking good man."

"I thought I said leave the math to Pidge," this earned Keith a weak smile

"Pretty sure our math would match this time. I'll go get the meds from Coran," Lance turned hands in his pockets shoulders slumped 

The hope gone

"Wait Lance no we will figure this out. Lance... Lance please come on."

But Lance already stepped out of Black and was heading of to meet Coran with Pidge. 

Keith felt his hand drop to his side. A dark empty feeling rose in him again. The same feeling as he had all that time on the whale. This time he knew though if he didn't help Lance the feeling would be permanent.


	7. Chapter 7

The voyage home was long and dull. The vast heaviness of space folded around the group feeding their fears, stress, and panic of what awaited for them. 

Lance however had the extra worry of trying to figure out his death. He was already prepping in every way possible. Well he thinks he's is. There wasn't exactly a nice little say goodbye from space hand guide he could follow. 

He cleared his throat again as his hands stroke the lines of his notebook. Knowing his final words and adventures were all there for his family. As for the others, he still wasn't sure how he was going to tell them. He didn't want to add to the stress they were already under. 

He wasn't worried about it this second anyway. They were still flying their lions back home. A long long long long way back home. 

It was rather dull. 

Lance couldn't help but nod off a time or two. He must have closed his eyes a second too long because he suddenly felt things change around him. When he opened his eyes he was surprised to be standing besides Hunk and Pidge.

Bright lights and some guy called... Bob... came to view shouting all sorts of things getting the crowd riled up. Wait... crowd?

Lance looked around some more seeing the others just as confused and he was. He turned toward Allura hoping for an explanation but she only shrugged. The floating creature began talking though Lance wasn't really listening he was too busy clearing his throat when he realized what was happening. 

"Did you say we'll be trapped here for the rest of eternity?" Pidge exclaimed from besides him

Lance felt his jaw drop as he refocused his attention to the one in front of him. Here for eternity? Well the others would be he doesn't have much time left anyway but come on. That seems a bit harsh. They were the saviors of the universe after all.

Lance wasn't paying much attention to the rules but suddenly Keith got zipped to the front to draw. Lance struggled not laughing at the fact they stuck a pacifier in his mouth though he had the huge urge to fix his hair. Suddenly the timer started and Keith began to draw. Hunk and Pidge jump into guesses so Lance tries as well. Only to get sassed by Pidge.

They continue Lance throwing anything that came to his mind in desperate attempt to guess something. Keith however was really sucked at drawing... to Lance anyway

"Lance will you stop talking!" Allura finally snapped

Lance flinched falling silent watching in confusion as they began to introduce a new team. Lance clenched his hands to stop the shaking. He was in a panic. That's part of why he couldn't stop talking. He couldn't let his friends stay here for eternity. He had to think of something.

"Windy cave?" Keith's pissed off sigh came from his left

"Hey I'm not a mind reader," Lance retorted trying to refocus

He shook his head only to here Zarkon yell "The dumb one!"

It took awhile for Lance to realize he was talking about him. That feeling of useless dread spread through his core. Great... The dumb one. He should have just left Voltron when he had first thought about stepping aside. He was about to cost them their chance at freedom and they all knew it. 

Sure enough it was a disaster.

"I'm just not really good with names. I'll get the next one," he tried to boost his team's confidence in him but he could feel his own fading fast

His hands shaking so bad at this point he couldn't hide it. He quickly covered his mouth as he hid another cough, grateful no petals came up. Bob sent him a quizzical look before he began to show him the Snick. More panic seared through Lance as he saw the creature and quickly begged for the next face to be easy.

He got a break. Bii-Boh-Bi! He knew that! His hands still shaking with such force at this point he knew others could see. He let out a shaky breath only to be shoved into another round... and at this point it was just guessing. How the heck was he supposed to even understand the questions then give an answer! Why him! Why not Pidge?

Sure enough he ended up in the Warflator. That was supposed to eat him alive apparently? Though it actually felt kinda nice. Lance leaned back trying to relax and control his breath to prevent the coughing fit that was brewing inside him. He couldn't let the others know. There was too much on the line right now and he hadn't helped one bit.

Pidge was next and Lance felt rather hopeful for once. Pidge really gave them the chance. Well that was till she tackled Bob. She quickly had him pinned and for a brief moment Lance had hope this was all over. An alarm rang through and suddenly he and Pidge were zapped back to their original positions.

"Ok guys hold on now. Let's not get tooooo feisty now. I'll give you your dumb one back and let's move on to the next one. Now which one of you would know the most about your team huh?" Bob asked wiggling his eyebrows at the group

Fingers that had originally pointed toward Pidge when asked for the smart one now pointed to Hunk. Maybe Hunk had the chance of setting them free. Lance's hands seemed to settle a bit watching the big guy smile confidently at the crowd.

"Now Hunk what I am going to do is ask you some questions about your paladin buddies here and you answer who it is got it?"

"Uh sure I guess," Hunk shrugged earning a laugh from the crowd

"Alright first question! Let's start easy shall we. Which one of you has the biggest family?"

Hunk's body visibly relaxed several degrees at the simplicity of the question.

"Lance for sure!"

"Correct! Next question, Which one of the paladins tends to leave the biggest mess?"

"Sorry that would be Pidge," Hunk said looking slightly embarrassed but Pidge simply shrugged and nodded

"That too is correct! Well you are definitely doing much better then for other paladins so lets crank up the intensity! How many of your paladins are straight hmmm?"

All the paladins shared confused looks over this. This was never really a talked about subject on the ship let alone prior. Not to mention this was a super off the wall question.

"Uhhhhh well I don't actually know so I am going to have to guess... Wait are we counting Shiro in this? As he is a former and well current paladin as far as we are concerned?"

"Sure why not but tick tick you are running out of time!"

"Uhhhh oh man four I guess..."

They all flinched as the wrong buzzer rang through dumping a pile of goo on Hunk.

"Oooo sorry the correct answer for that is actually three! While some of you may still be questioning at the moment three of you are confirmed!"

"Wait who did he forget?" Pidge spoke quickly looking at Bob in confusion

"I knew Keith and Shiro. It's not me so it's one you three," Hunk said scooping goo from his face

Lance turned red biting his lip suddenly realizing while he had trusted Hunk with a lot he had never actually mentioned it. Lance felt a quivering hand raise slightly as Bob rounded on him pointing.

"Bingo loverboy Lance doesn't mind switching it up every now and then do you Lance! Let's see if Allura can do any better with the next few," Bob said and with a wave Hunk returned to his spot and Allura replaced him

Lance could feel the eyes and look of shock on the other's face as they stared at him. He felt like digging a hole and jumping in never to show his face again. He wouldn't get that lucky though. He continued to face forward as Allura got some questions but he didn't hear a single one of them though. He was too busy burying himself in his imaginary grave.   
  
Another loud buzz and drop of goo drew him out of his haze. 

"Sorry Princess the correct answer would be Hunk! Let's bring Keith in for one final question!"

The pair switched spots and Lance noticed Pidge absolutely red in the face rubbing her forehead in frustration. He suddenly wondered what he had just missed as Allura also looked fairly embarrassed. 

"Ok Keith one more question for points. Then we go to the final round! How you feeling Keith?"

"Just ask the question," Keith's voice rather threatening sending a chill through Lance

"Ok ok! Here it is, which of your fellow paladin have been brought back from the other side?"

Keith tilted his head eyes scrunched in confusion. 

"Brought back?"

"Yes my dear. Like from the veil. The brink. The other side. Death."

Lance felt himself pale. Allura and him quickly shared a look realizing the issue. Keith didn't know. No one did. Lance had made sure of it. 

"Just Shiro," Keith said firmly

Lance and Allura flinched before the buzzer could go off and the goo fall. But it did. Soon Keith was covered a heat rising in his face. 

"There is no way that is wrong!" He shouts shaking himself free of the goo

"I believe that's where you are wrong Keith and we even have a clip of it to show you. Let's take a look shall we?"

Lance swallowed hard as he glanced at the screen in front of them. Sure enough there it was. Lance pushing Allura out of the way being struck by the beam. Allura rushing over to Red to find Lance quiet. The glow and Lance gasping as air refilled his lungs. 

Absolute shame filled Lance as he refused to look at the group. He didn't need to see them. He knew. They were mad. He could feel it radiating off them. The heat of it overpowering. 

"Lance..." Pidge's voice croaked from besides him 

He flinched as she tried to place a hand on his shoulder. He finally starred back at the screen that had just gone clear and he could see the reflection of Keith staring into it as well. Pale face, tight jaw, look of... well he wasn't sure but an unpleasant look nonetheless was across Keith's face. 

Great he was going to hear about his big mess up later. 

"Well seems like there is a lot of secrets Lance has been keeping from the rest of the team huh. Well let's give a hand to them folks they still have one final round to get through and hopefully they can win their freedom!"

The crowd around them cheered as they went to a quick commercial break. Keith now rejoined the rest keeping a terrifying glare locked onto Allura. 

"Why did you two not say anything?" Hunk broke through finally voice hardened with tears

"Because it doesn't matter," Lance said picking up the pen that appeared in front of them

"But-"

"Seriously just drop it. We have to finish this," Lance grumbled refocusing on Bob

This show had turned into absolute hell. 

********************************************  
Quickly wanted to thank you for your patience I know it's been a hot minute between wedding stuff and getting sick. This chapter was a bit longer than normal as the next one will be too to hopefully make up for it. Also from this point on we are wandering away from the original Voltron timeline that I had been following and sipping more into the differ story so it should be fun! Sorry this chapter was a tad dull I was just hoping to get something out today!


	8. Chapter 8

"Alright final round! Your vote will set someone free!" 

Or at least it was something along that line. Lance couldn't think anymore. His mind felt like cotton. His throat like sandpaper trying to keep the flowers down. He was so done with this. He was ready for it to end. One way or another. 

Lance tried to glance over at who Hunk was writing down but couldn't see through the barrier. He looked down at his own sheet the pressure mounting on him. 

Who would he want to save? 

Well that was obvious. It was the first name that came to mind. It was the one causing this internal struggle. His love for him was literally killing him. 

Yet

He wouldn't want him to see him suffer and die here. He had the best connections with the Galra and humans. He really would stand a chance. He was their leader. He loves him. He was the future. Just not Lance's future. 

He swallow hard scribbling the name praying he didn't just out himself to the rest of the team. His hands shaking slightly suppressing a cough as he closed his eyes listening to who the other chose. 

But it wasn't like it could get worse right...

Wrong

Lance's eyes flew open letting out a small gasp as he realized he's now back in Red. That line however was ringing in his head. 

"I just don't want to be stuck here for eternity with Lance."

Those words struck his bones. His heart felt flat. Numbness would be a great friend right now. Why... why... why?

Lance felt the anger pulse inside him. He could hear the other discussing on the "dream" they just shared but he was done. He had died for someone who had rejected his feelings. Now the one he was dying for one who didn't even want to be stuck with him. He was done. 

Lance slammed off his com breaking ranks slightly flying a bit higher than the others. He knew he didn't have the juice right now to just slam on the thrusters to take off so this would have to do. 

He was done. He was tired of all of them. He should have just left when Shiro came back. 

He slumped in the pilot's chair tilting his face up trying to force himself not to cry. He just wanted to go home. 

A small zap startled him from his position. He spun around to see Keith with his wolf. 

"No get out. I don't want to hear it."

"Lance your com-"

"No I'm serious get out. I don't want to talk you or any of you right now," Lance growled his whole body shaking in anger at this point

Keith couldn't hide the shock from showing in his face. He had never seen Lance this angry. What right did he have to be angry? Lance was the one who died and told no one! What gave him the right to just think that was ok? 

"Lan-" Keith tried again but Lance turned to the wolf this time

"Take him out of here now."

To both Keith and Lance's surprise he obeyed Lance teleporting Keith back to Black. 

"Anything?" Pidge asked 

Keith could sense the stress rolling off her. Not to mention the others. Lance just cut ranks and shut off his com of course they we worried. Keith buried his head in his hands pressing his palms firmly to his eyelids.

"He won't talk to me. Wouldn't even let me stay. Hunk... you might be the one who has to try. I've... Ive never seen him so angry."

"It's not against you Keith... he's likely more angry at himself." Allura pipped in but Keith shook his head 

No... this was his fault. He should have stayed with Voltron not train with the Blade. He should have been there for Lance. He should...

Keith shook his head and felt his Krolia's hand on his shoulder. He turned to the space wolf nodding to the yellow lion. He tipped his head and zipped out. 

"Just give it a try Hunk. If not we will let him settle down. He has every right to be upset," Keith muttered slumping into his chair closing his eye

Hunk flinched slightly as the wolf appeared lightly placing a paw in his lap then zapped away.

Hunk blinked slightly realizing he was now in the blue lion with a very angry Lance. Lance's eyes narrowed onto the wolf then Hunk. 

"What now?" Lance growled out

Hunk flinched but sat against the wall patting a spot besides him. Lance stood still in his spot. The anger he felt wasn't toward Hunk but that didn't mean he wanted to have to hear it from him to. 

"I would say I was checking to see if you are ok but I think that's obvious. Lance... we love you you know that. All of us do. We are just shocked that you've kept so much from us but we aren't mad. Hurts more that you didn't trust us enough to tell us."

"It's not that Hunk..." Lance's voice cracked and he was soon flooded with a round of coughing

"Lance.." Hunk reached out to him as the wolf let out a whine before popping out

Lance couldn't hide this round. There was no way. He felt the petals forcing themselves up his throat. Heavy slick this time. This was different. 

The wolf returned with Keith just as Lance finally removed his hand letting the red petals fall to the ground. Keith quickly stepped forward as he noticed some different about these petals. 

They were lined with bits of blood. 

Lance flinched whipping away some blood off the corner of his mouth. Keith felt his soul go cold. His eyes locked into the bits of blood panic spreading rapidly feeling iced bullets form across his forehead. 

"Lance... what... what is this," Hunk croaked from his spot eyes locked on to the flowers

Keith noticed Lance avoid Hunk's gaze but couldn't avoid the wolf's persistent nudging. Lance sighed digging a hand into the fluff. Too much had happened today. He just wanted to sleep. 

"I can tell him if you want," Keith muttered to Lance relaxing slightly as he received a nod

Keith nodded to the wolf who returned by his side sending him and Hunk back to their respected places. He seemed to disappear after that. Keith could only assume he had gone back to comfort Lance. 

"So what the hell is going on Keith?" Hunk asked back over the com

Keith sighed closing his eyes. The words feeling sick in his throat. The absolute weight sinking in that he had lost Lance once and he was about to again. 

"Lance has something call Hanahki Disease"


	9. Chapter 9

Lance stayed cut off from the others for awhile. He resumed formation and opened his com one way so he could hear but wouldn't respond. He just needed time. 

Kosmo, as the team finally declared, spent most his time with Lance. Occasionally visiting the other Paladins or teleporting items and food to other lions as needed. Then he always went back to Lance. Often staying besides him just resting his head on Lance's lap. 

Lance just needed time... well really he was stalling. The others had tied notes to Kosmo seeing Lance had cut off his com trying to reach him. Sending encouragement. That they would find a solution. 

No one mentioned being angry... but they wouldn't admit it over a letter. Lance just didn't want to hear the anger... the pity. He knew it was coming. 

Keith told Lance he just told them the basics. How long he had. Who caused it. How long they knew. That was it. 

But then... that's all Keith really knew. 

Lance looked at his hands which seemed unable to stop shaking every since that day. It made him sick to his stomach thinking about it. His secret out there for the others to know. Openly able to judge and pity him till he's on his death bed. 

The coughing seemed worse too. Now blood joining the occasional mix of petals that slipped from his mouth. Kosmo would whine every time it happened. Nudging Lance's arm trying to distract him from the pain. 

It was about five days after the fact when Lance finally asked Kosmo to bring him someone. The one person he could think of that had felt as lonely and miserable as he had. He ran his hand through Kosmo's fur as he asked him to bring her and with a pop he was gone. 

Lance stayed on the cot that he had in Red strangling his pillow into his chest just waiting. His eyes stinging violently trying to keep the tears at bay. He needed to know though what was going on. He knew who had going. To be honest with him that's why he called upon her, he knew she wouldn't sugarcoat it. 

A new pop rang through the room Lance only glancing up at Kosmo who teleported just before him. He let his eyes wander toward the hand on his collar and to it's owner. Pidge. 

"Hey Lance."

Her voice was quiet. Hesitant. She was just as terrified being called on as Lance had been calling her here. 

She sat besides him on the bed placing a hand on top of his head. Relief swam through her as he sigh and snuggled toward her. Pidge just stroked his hair unsure why she of all of them had been brought here. She wasn't Keith, who Lance had trusted with the secret to begin with. Nor was she Hunk, Lance's most trusted friend. Even Allura or Coran who knew more about this alien stuff would have been a better choice. So why her?

Lance scooted over gesturing for Pidge to lay besides him. She did letting Lance wrap himself around her letting his breath settle as he kept the tears at bay with every inch of his being. Pidge tightened her grip thinking back to all the times she snuck to Lance's room in secret while she was desperately searching for Matt and her dad. After countless dead ends and nights of just pure hell thinking of what could have possibly happened to her family she would seek the one bit of family she had near. Lance. 

Without Matt Lance became her big brother in a way. The corny jokes, the over protective ways he handled things when it came to her, and even times like those nights when she just needed a hug. Even at 2am. 

"How mad is everyone?" Lance finally muttered into her shirt

"No one is mad Lance. Just confused. Why didn't you tell us earlier?" Pidge kept stroking his hair trying to get his heart rate to settle

"I didn't want it to be something else we had to deal with. I figured it would just be easier on everyone."

"No," Pidge said firmly, "We need you Lance. I don't know how you got it in that brain of yours that you are unneeded or the weakest link but it's not true. I'm sorry if we never did a good job showing it. I know we get too obsessed in our own works sometimes but I've never heck we've never meant for you to feel like that Lance. We love you. You are our friend , brother, and fellow Paladin. We would be lost without you do you understand?"

Lance lost the battle of keeping the tears at bay. He nodded into Pidge's shirt accidentally letting a sob loose as he did. Pidge squeezes him tight resting her chin on his head giving him the time he needed to settle back down. 

"We will figure this out Lance I promise. Forget that stupid alien girl ok. She wasn't worth it. We will take care of you ok," Pidge soothed to Lance as his breath settled out

"Sorry," Lance mumbled looking up at Pidge noting her wet shirt

"Don't worry about it. You've done it plenty of times for me remember," Pidge smiled fondly at the thought 

Lance nodded with a small smile. He cleared his throat slightly pushing the urge of petals back down. It earned a worrying look from Pidge as she pushed his hair out of his face. 

"You need a haircut."

"Look who's talking," Lance responded tugging the edges of her hair slightly 

She rolled her eyes sitting up watching in amusement as Kosmo now joined the pair in the bed as well. He rested his head on Lance's lap watching Pidge. 

"He's really taken to you huh."

Lance shrugged running a hand through Kosmo's fur. 

"Look I can talk to the others about keeping off you if you want. But I will figure this out ok. I promise. Keith explained it the best he could but I have a feeling you have been holding out on him too. So I might need to ask questions. If that's ok..."

"Thank you Pidge," Lance nodded letting a small smile slip to her

She returned his smile wrapping him up again into another hug before Kosmo zipped her back. Lance stood heading toward the pilot's seat listen in as Pidge began to talk to the others. 

"Can you just... not mention it. To Lance. Don't talk about it behind his back. Don't be nosy. Don't be a dick. He's already going through enough he doesn't need your freakin eyes on it. He's finally allowing us to talk to him and for us to figure this out. If we want to keep our friend and family alive with us we need to work together and save him ok. I won't accept anything less than perfection got it?"

Lance couldn't help but smile as the responses from the other lions rolled in. He hesitated slightly laying his finger on the switch. He swallows and licked his lips taking a deep and final breath just as Kosmo zipped back in. He clicked the switch turning his com back on. 

"Hey guys."


	10. Chapter 10

Pidge stayed extremely shut out for the next week. She had already been obsessively researching and asking the fellow Alteans questions but she needed... more. There was a major piece missing... how to remove the flowers. 

More importantly how to remove the flowers without destroying Lance's feelings. 

The more and more Pidge dug the worse it got. The issue was depending how far advanced the flowers had tangled themselves around Lance's lungs and heart the more they affected his feelings. At this stage he was already in a heap of trouble. 

The flowers would strip away feelings of love, not just romantic feelings but even love for family and friends. Which was just plain cruel. It could also cost memories. Typically of the lost love but again there were several cases of others losing all or most of their memories. 

There was just no positive evidence for Pidge to dig into. 

The only way it seemed to keep Lance alive and feelings attached would be to convince that alien girl she loved Lance...

But that was the other issue

Who was this girl?

Pidge leaned back in her chair trying to think clearly. It felt like there was a reflective glass booming at her. Like she was missing something staring at her right in the face. But what was it?

Sure Lance had always been a flirt but falling in love with a random alien girl... that wasn't Allura just didn't make sense. 

"Maybe he's lying to me," she muttered readjusting her glasses 

What if it is Allura... he's just too embarrassed to admit it. Or.... or someone else...

Pidge turned on a private chat with Keith. Maybe.... maybe he missed something. 

"Hey Keith. Helllllooooooo. Grumpy boy!"

"Grumpy?? And what's with the private chat Pidge?" Keith indeed sounded grumpy earning a smug smile from Pidge

"It's about Lance."

Pidge chewed her lip slightly to hear to other line go still. Yup gets his attention every time. 

"Are we positive it isn't Allura he's in love with? That he's not lying because he's embarrassed or something? I just need to know because without the mutual love... I... well I'm not having any luck with a plan B."

"Why would he lie about it? We all knew he had a thing for Allura it's not like he hid it. It's definitely faltered though... I mean I noticed once I came back from the Blade. He treats her more like a sister now vs the whole flirt thing."

"Maybe he's embarrassed? Having feelings for something that doesn't return them. So he denies having them to begin with?" Pidge pondered tapping rapidly on her chair's arm

"How about we not focus on the who and just focus on how to help him," Keith couldn't hid the bit of bitterness in his voice

"That's the problem... if we want to keep Lance... Lance... the only solution is having the one he loves... love him back. At this stage Keith... I'm worried. I'm worried we might lose him... or lose what makes him... our Lance you know."

Her voice was so quiet for that last bit. It sent shards of ice straight to Keith's heart spreading the coldness through his veins with each flutter of his heart. Losing Lance... he already had... technically a few different times. He was lucky each time to get him back. 

But to lose him forever...

The dread spread tightening his muscles and closing his throat. His whole body felt like pin pricks were being expelled from his body. He had to blink several time to try and refocus. 

He can still save Lance. He can protect him. There had to be a way. 

"I did manage to find an old old old Altean base that held hospital supplies. Obviously over the years Galra moved in and made it their own base but maybe there is a hint in there somewhere."

Pidge interrupted Keith's thoughts as she sent the file his direction. He quickly opened it to notice it wasn't too far from their current location. A slight wave of hope rolled through his body erasing the pin pricks and letting his shoulders settle and relax back down. 

"I'll have Coran and Krolia look at it. Maybe they will have an idea before hand of what we are getting into. For now we will set course for it. Maybe we will get lucky for once."

"Aye aye captain," he could hear the sarcasm roll off her tongue

"Don't call me that," Keith resisted the urge to roll his eyes as she log off

Keith looked back down at the information in front of him. It was supposed to be abandoned by the Galra. Maybe they were in luck and were right. 

Keith sent the report forward to Krolia and Coran. He could hear the ping from Krolia's device as it can through from the other room. There was a long bit of silence as she scrolled through the information. 

"You all are too loyal to your own... but it should be safe. Last I saw as well it was abandoned. The Galra actually used it for a similar purpose due to the set up. If the Alteans didn't have an information maybe the Galra do," Krolia said now leaning against the frame of the door 

Keith tightened his grip on the controls. Too loyal? That was laughable. He had let Lance down one to many time... he wouldn't fail again. 

"It should take about three days at our current speed correct?"

"You are right. And yes I agree with Pidge this is a good place to start!" Coran's voice echoed over the mic

"You hear that guys. Changing course. Taking a detour," Keith said readjusting his lion

"We really don-"

"Lance don't you dare finish that," Keith almost snarled 

"But-"

"Lance," now it was Pidge's voice ringing through 

"Buddy please just let us try..."

Hunk's voice vibrated through the lions leaving and heavy silence as they narrowed in a bit on Keith's position. Keith bit his lip looking out toward Red slightly praying the boy would just follow and let them help him for once. 

"Fine."

It was such a small angry word. Almost drowned behind the teeth it was forced through and yet utter relief flooded through Keith when they came through. 

He still wanted to talk to Lance. In private. He needed to know... so many things. He just wanted to know why? Why was this boy so intent on shattering his heart? 

Tonight. 

He would talk to him tonight.


	11. Chapter 11

THIS IS YOUR FAULT!

That was the only thing registering in Lance's brain. Through all the blood and bruising. The limp body in his arms. The heat and pain rising in his chest with each scream and sob. The pain that started out as minor prickles now seared burning through his very soul. It ripped the very breath and mind from his body.

It felt like an eternity before he even realized who he was cradling in his arms. 

Keith

And it was his fault

Another soul splitting scream echoed through the land. It felt as if the vacuum of space was collapsing on that very point. Collapsing in on Lance and Keith. Crushing them into a nonexistent void. The only thing visible amongst the darkness was the bloody red petals as that flowed from Lance's mouth with ever sob and scream. 

"Lance!"

The darkness called to him. Begging him to swim in. 

"LANCE!"

Lance shot up panting rapidly only to be suffocate on the overflow of petals that was rising from his throat. Blood joining the fray as he leaned over the bed coughing up what he could. There was no point hold them in. He was to panicked for it at this point. 

Kosmo whined from besides him letting out small yelps as he coughed. Lance suddenly realized through the pain there was a hand. Rubbing smooth circles on his back easing the tightness that was compressing his chest. Even though the petals were done Lance couldn't stop the tears and the sobs escaping his body. 

It felt so real. So much pain. He was gone. He was gone. 

"Lance it's ok. You are safe. I promise. It was a dream. It was a dream."

Keith

Lance tried to steady his breath. It was Keith. Keith was here. He was ok. He was alive. He wasn't dead. 

"Sorry. D-didn't mean to scare you," Lance finally panted 

"Lance," Keith couldn't hide the worry in his voice despite how faint the words leaked out

Keith lightly forced Lance back into the bed motioning for Kosmo to get on the bed. He gladly accepted the offer curling into Lance's side. The space wolf was who rushed to Keith the moment Lance started to fit. Keith was already staring into the abyss of his radio com attempting to think of a way to talk to Lance about... everything. He hadn't realized how long he had been staring until Kosmo appeared desperate for Keith. 

Keith swept up the petals tossing them into a bin. He grabbed a glass of water and washed his hand clear of blood before returning to Lance. Lance was already sitting up again with his head in his hands. Keith knocked the glass lightly against Lance's knuckles causing him to stir. He hesitated but accepted the drink gratefully allowing the coolness to settle his irritated throat. 

His body finally relax as each breath settled to a normal pace. He felt sore though. The dream was almost like a full workout in itself. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Keith cautiously sat besides Lance 

He was never good at this part. He knew he had wanted to talk to Lance before hand... but now didn't seem the right time to talk about losing him again. 

Lance shook his head quickly trying to stuff the nightmare away. It didn't matter. Keith was here and alive. No need to worry. 

Lance rested a hand on Kosmo leaning slightly to the wall. He felt exhausted already but he was afraid to sleep again. It wasn't the first time he had had nightmares like that. This one... was different. It felt more real. 

Lance blinked several times and his breath hitches slight as he felt a slight squeeze on his knee. 

Keith

Keith's hand didn't move as they sat there in silence. His thumb simply rubbing small circles on the outside of the knee. He... he should say something right? But what? What do you say?

"We should reach the Altean station in another day. Hopefully our answers are there," Keith muttered not able to look at Lance

Lance simply hummed setting the empty glass on the desk besides the bed. 

More silence 

"Lance... I promise... I swear... we will figure this out ok. We won't give up until we figure out something. We have too," Keith voice cracked besides himself drawing Lance's attention

"Keith... it's ok. I've accepted it-"

"No," Keith voice went cold his whole body tensed as his eyes locked onto Lance's 

"Keith-"

"No. I am not losing you. Lance I- Lance... you have family waiting for you on Earth. You have to fight. Just for awhile till I find something. Please," Keith's voice cracked under the pressure as Lance's eyes softened

"I have Pidge working like crazy for anything. She is searching every possible lead. Lance you just... you gotta have faith. We will help you."

"You and I both know there are only three options here. I die, I get the flowers removed and lose all feelings and memories, or I convince the stranger to fall in love with me. Keith... the third one isn't happening. Even if Pidge figures out a way to remove the flowers without damaging everything else what are the chances we can find someone to preform the surgery?" Lance's voice despite it's softness ripped through Keith's soul

"No."

"Keith... I know you try... but you can't control this. If we accept it now it will be easier for later. As for my family..." Lance pulled out the small tattered notebook from the drawer of the desk

"You are going to give this to them when it's ready," Lance let a thumb run across the binding before tossing it back into the drawer

Keith could hardly see. His vision clouded his breathing ached. Lance always thinking he was dispensable. That he wasn't needed. It hurt. It hurt so much. 

Because he was so so wrong. 

Keith could stop himself if he tried. Keith's arms swallowed Lance into a death grip of a hug trying to ground himself. His face quickly hiding in Lance's neck getting hit with the scent of cinnamon and lavender. Fighting desperately to keep the tears back. 

He would not lose him again. 

Lance slowly wrapped his owns arms around Keith. Trying to soothe the boy. Lance had his time to take it in he knew the team would need the same. He really didn't want to waste their time at this base... but maybe it would help pull their head out of the clouds. 

Keith wasn't sure how long they stayed like that but Lance's hand had wandered into his hair. Massage a pattern that helped relax his entire body. This should be the other way around. Not Lance being the comfort... 

"You need to sleep Lance," Keith voice thick with sadness that he failed at hiding

Lance's hand froze and Keith slid out of his grip to take in his face. Obviously worry laced it. 

"I can stay... wake you if the nightmare starts again..."

Lance quickly shook his head, "You don't need to bother. You need to sleep too. I will be fine."

Keith shook his head moving his body to the other side of the bed closer to the wall. Kosmo laying between Keith and Lance now as Lance remained sitting on his side confused. 

"Go to sleep Lance. I'll stay."

Lance felt his breath catch again. Keith's words vibrating deep inside him despite their softness. His galaxy eyes bringing Lance into a sort of trace as he settled under the covers on his side. 

"I promise you are safe. Goodnight Lance," Keith whispered as Lance's ocean eyes finally fluttered shut


	12. Chapter 12

Lance was surprised to wake up and find Keith still there with him. He seemed to have finally dozed off at some point in the night as he was sprawled in a rather odd position. Back pinned to the wall, left arm propping him up slightly, head slightly on the spare pillow, and right arm lightly holding onto Lances bicep. 

It couldn't be comfortable. 

Lance managed to slide out undetected from Keith but not Kosmo. Kosmo however didn't seem ready for the day to begin. He stretched in the bed resettling besides Keith taking Lance's spot. 

Lance took back control of his lion. She purred slightly at his touch. He glanced over to see Shiro guiding Black. It was interesting seeing Black hadn't really let him pilot again though it seemed it was a mutual thing. 

"Hey Lance I'm assuming Keith is with you?" Shiro asked over the com

"Yeah he's asleep."

"Good let him. He hasn't been," Shiro adjusted the speed on Black letting him take the lead fully

"Hey buddy, let Kosmo know breakfast should be ready in about ten," Hunk's voice crackled over

Kosmo at the mention of his name teleported from the bed to Hunk. 

"Oh hey Kosmo!" 

Lance blocked out Hunk listening for movement from the bed. It stayed quiet. Hopefully that meant Keith was still asleep. 

"We should reach destination early evening. Pidge think you can scan again from this far out?"

"I'll give it a shot but probably won't be able to till it's in view. My long range scanners have been problematic."

Lance really wanted to chime in that they should just bail and go home but he knew what they would say. 

Lance palmed his notebook noticing his pages were shrinking fast. He hesitated for a moment before pulling out 6 pages from the back. He folded them before sticking them toward the front. He would need them later but for now they stay blank. 

Kosmo reappeared with both his and Keith's breakfast. Hunk had managed some sort of breakfast wrap. Lance wasn't sure were he found the new space food supply but he definitely wasn't complaining. Anything was better than food goo at this point. 

"You could have woken me."

Lance jump slightly at Keith's croaking voice. He looked over his shoulder to see a messy haired Keith attempting to wipe sleep lines off his face. Lance felt his heart squeeze slightly at the sight. He couldn't help but smile slightly holding Keith's breakfast wrap out for him. 

The boy grumbled leaning against the pilot seat accepting the wrap. Lance quickly faced forward again as his face heated. He hadn't been in the position last night to appreciate Keith, but now fully awake he found it hard not to take the opportunity. 

"Wait... is Black still on auto?" Keith ducked his head slightly to look at his lion

"No Shiro took over. I'm surprised he let him though. He's been finicky about Shiro recently."

Keith hummed taking another bite from his wrap. Kosmo nudged his hand lightly causing Keith to sigh breaking off a small piece of the wrap tossing it to the wolf. 

Keith eyed the notebook besides Lance. The urge to run his fingers across the pages to know the very center of Lance's mind and heart. He knew better though. He couldn't lose Lance. 

He still wanted to talk to him... properly. With no nightmares and panic. Maybe once they get lucky at their stop. 

They had to be lucky... Keith could feel it in his bones. 

"I guess I'll head back over. Get ready. Might wait till the morning to properly get a look at the place. Give Pidge time to run her scans."

Keith gave Lance's shoulder a squeeze before burying his hands into Kosmo's fur. A slight flash and blur and he was back in Black. He felt the slight rumble in his soul as a greeting.

"Enjoy your night?" Shiro's voice more questioning than joking

Keith ran a comb through his bed hair. Attempting to tame the mess that had occurred over the night. His face still felt hard over the thoughts running around his mind. 

"He has nightmares... that's why Kosmo came to me... all night Shiro... it took all night to settle him. I'm worried."

Shiro turned fully toward Keith, brows sinking quickly. Keith pulled on bits of his paladin armor getting ready to retake control. Shiro seemed to be able to read the very aura of the boy. 

"You still like him don't you?"

Keith kept his face blank but there was a slight pink tint that rose in his cheeks. 

"Now is not the time Shiro. We have bigger things to deal with. Hopefully this place will have something. Anything... that could be helpful."

Shiro moved from the seat letting Keith take over. He placed a hand on his shoulder as Black responded eagerly at having his pilot back. Despite the lions being at low power they were very eager to be back in action. They seemed to crave a battle. 

"We will take care of him Keith... don't worry," Shiro muttered 

Keith couldn't help but sigh as his mind began to spiral back into the red lion. His crush for Lance had been one that at one point controlled his very reasoning on leaving Voltron. Lance had done the math thinking he was expendable. That he was just going to leave. 

He couldn't have that. 

Keith ran to take the Blade's up on their offer the moment it happened. The only thing he ever regretted from it was it forced him away from Lance. 

And his crush for the boy subsided with time 

This... this was different. More protective less push the boy against the wall and kiss him senseless. 

His thoughts bounced back and forth as they finally hit the edge of their destination. Keith felt exhaust setting into his bones. He was really hoping they voted on going in the morning but at the same time he felt desperate for an answer. 

"It seems clear... we could land for the night and search in the morning. Gives us a whole day." Pidge said from over the com

"We should probably take shifts just to be sure. Last thing we need is someone to sneak up on us," Keith said grateful he could strip from his amor

"I can take first watch if we want."

Lance's voice echoed through Keith automatically setting the boy at rest. 

"I can take second," Keith announced

"I've got the third. I typically am up at the point anyway." Lance snorted at Pidge's response

"I've got the final shift," Hunk called out 

Once everything was settle Keith took the time to let himself relax letting warm water roll over his body and changing into comfy clothes. His weapons still at the ready as always. 

Kosmo had already rejoined Lance for the night. Shiro already asleep as Krolia was attempt to see if she could reach any Blade members with some scouting and communications. 

A small beep went off as Keith's shift ended and Pidge's began but Keith couldn't sleep. He felt the need to pace but didn't want to wake the others. It was almost a relief when Kosmo appeared letting out small whines. Not as urgent as last time but requesting Keith all the same. 

Keith took the opportunity to get a ride to Red. Kosmo quickly setting himself back on the bed once they arrived. Lance awake this time fresh tear marks on his face. 

"I really wish he would stop doing that. You are supposed to be asleep," Lance muttered ignoring Keith's stare

Keith motioned first Lance to move over as he climbed in bed. He patted the bed earning a sigh from Lance as he laid back into the pillows. Keith sent his hand through Lance's hair massaging his scalp lightly. Something Shiro had done to him when he was frustrated as a child. 

"Just accept the help Lance. There is nothing wrong with it."

"Says the one who refuses any help whatsoever," Lance snorted

Keith snorted but agreed. His hand not stopping its movement. He felt relief pool through him as he noticed Lance's eyes drift shut. He resisted the urge to pull him closer. To comfort him the way he truly deserved. It wasn't his place. Lance loved someone else. 

But it didn't truly matter. Keith knew one day someone would love Lance back the way Lance deserved to be loved. He just had to keep Lance alive long enough to find that person.


	13. Chapter 13

The morning came and Lance felt like he was the only one that could sense it. 

There was something... dark in the air... it swept around them occasionally peeking through a veil. 

But what was it?

The others took the day like any normal day. They woke up, ran final scans, ate breakfast, and then changed to their armor. They couldn't sense it... or maybe Lance was just losing his mind.

"I'm not getting any signs of life. No signs of any guards, or evil robots, or evil plants Lance so stop being so weird about it," Pidge said slightly bumping his arm as they stepped toward the door

Lance chewed on the inside of his cheek as they pulled the doors open. Pidge pulled a map out splitting the team. Krolia went with Keith, Hunk and Lance went another direction, Allura and Pidge headed to the next floor, while Shiro kept watch near the entrance. Romelle and Coran were running a system outside to keep track of any incoming ships. 

"Why are you so on edge man?" Hunk asked Lance as they wandered toward one of the storage units

"I can just... feel something coming... I don't know maybe I just didn't sleep enough last night," Lance grumbled shaking his head knowing full and well he slept fine last night once Keith came by

"Well we have every scanner running right now. If something comes we will know with plenty of time to run," Hunk placed a hand on Lance's shoulder giving it a squeeze

"Anyone find anything yet? I've hit the main computer and I'm copying things over but at quick glance it's mainly Galra stuff?" Pidge came over the com

Hunk paused from checking boxes to respond. Lance paused feeling a set of eyes on them. He glanced up staring back toward the hall. 

Nothing. 

Lance shook it off and went back to digging around. Mainly old supplies the Galra has no more use for. Some of it was handy just to keep on the ship but most of it pretty much useless. 

"Hey Pidge you said this was an old medical center right?" Keith's voice came from the com

"Yeah why?"

"I think... I think this was a testing facility."

Lance looked up at Hunk. Hunk's eyes widen as he pressed on his com again. 

"What makes you say that?"

"Cages... skeletons... old files... it seems like they were testing something on the dying."

"Were they successful?" Lance asked standing now glancing toward the hallway again

"I don't see anything here... Pidge might have luck on her edge," Keith responded

"Bring me those files... might be useful if we run into some immortal Galra or something. If that was what they were planning on doing with it." 

Lance could hear slight scratching coming from the walls. He turned toward Hunk who seemed to have paled considerably. 

"You heard it too," Lance whispered heading toward the hall

"Please let it be space mice. Please let it be space mice," Hunk chanted behind him

Lance pressed against the wall searching for a hollow spot. Maybe there was a passage or hidden door. 

The scratching got louder as Lance pressed on the wall. Hunk groaned slightly at his idiotic friend's instinct to look for the sound. Lance knocked on the wall and silence fell. 

"Maybe we should... not do that..." Hunk squeaked 

A knock responded to Lance's knock and Hunk almost ran into the door. 

"Come on Hunk. Maybe it is friendly," Lance teased 

"You were just the one saying you could feel something coming. Now you want to make friends with it?!" Hunk squeaked

"I never said friends," Lance muttered knocking again

A series of knocked responded leading farther across the wall. It paused before knocking rapidly in a spot a few feet away. Lance glanced at Hunk before taking the steps over and responding. After the quick knock Lance felt it. The wood almost shifted under his fist. 

"Guys... I think we found something... but we definitely aren't alone," Hunk whimpered into his com

"What do you mean? The only signs of life are us!" 

"Unless... they were successful," Lance muttered pressing hard on the wood 

The wood gave way letting Lance sink into the wall. Hunk's panicked screams could be heard from the other side. Lance turned to see he had somehow managed to force himself in between the walls without actually making a hole for him to see back to the room. 

Lance blinked trying to adjust to the dim light before letting his suit light up his surroundings. Nothing was around him... so who was knocking?

"Hunk I'm fine. I'm going to explore some more," Lance yelled through the muffled wall and the noise in his com

Lance squeezed through the section finding a large whole toward the corner that lead down. There was no basement on the map. Lance climbed down the structure looking for a sign of anything. 

"Lance what the hell are you doing," Shiro growled through the com

"Relax... I think... I don't know. None of this was in the map."

"You should not be doing this without backup," Keith jumped in

Lance rolled his eyes but didn't respond. Instead he hit the next level checking his surroundings. The was a small light coming from past a shredded rug. Lance pulled his bayard forward ready for action. 

At glance though there was... no one. Lance carefully stepped through looking around the large cavern. Small purple flames lined the place giving off funky shadows around the place. Shadows of people danced along the sides despite no one but Lance being there. 

Lance stepped farther in. There were small markers scattered through the cavern. He crouched next to one squinting at the writing on the marker. 

"Hey Pidge can you translate this?" Lance scanned the marker sending the info over to Pidge 

He glanced at the others noting that the numbers were different but there were several repeating words. 

"Uhhhh experiment seven chose death. Death after two hundred and three days. Lance did you find a graveyard?"

Lance went over to a different scanning it and sending it over as well. 

"I think so. This one... reads different."

"Experiment forty-two attempted immortality. Drowned to plants on day eighty-eight. Wait Lance... scan me as many as you can. Keith... collect every file you can. I want to look at these."

"That's a morbid thing to say Pidge," Hunk responded as Lance began to walk grave by grave scanning the info 

The dancing shadows seemed to have noticed Lance and stopped to watch. Lance glanced up at them from time to time as they began to gather and step with him. Visiting every marker with him. Occasionally as he would scan one a shadow would attempt to come forward a bit more before stepping back. 

... what if these weren't shadows?

Lance paused giving the shadows full attention. He cautiously waved at the group letting his hand drift back to his side. The shadows seemed to share a glance before waving their own hands and waving back. 

A cold sweat started down Lance's back

"Are... are these you?"

The shadows nodded. One stepped aside attempting to point to one on the end. Lance leaned over to it and the shadow pointed more aggressively then shook its head. Lance squinted to read. This marker was gold however compared to the stone. 

"Pidge this one..."

"Uhhhh experiment two hundred. Chose immortality. Successful."

Lance looked down the grave site squinting against the poor lighting. Sure enough random dots of gold were scattered across the place. The few that were successful. 

Lance turned back to the shadow who was desperately attempting to get his attention. It took a finger drawing in the air. Lance tilted his head trying to understand what it was attempting to say. All the shadows suddenly bunched up taking off in different directions. Disappearing into dark spaces. The sole shadow looked at Lance once more before joining. 

Suddenly the dark felt suffocating. The air ice and the place quiet. He suddenly realized what they were saying. 

Run


	14. Chapter 14

"Guys we need to leave. Get the last bit and go!"

Lance didn't stick around to see what was coming. He bolted quickly rushing toward where he came from. He reached the landing he came from quickly pressing on spots in the wall trying to find the spot he came in. 

Questions were flying through his com but as soon as he fell back through the wall a soul splitting howl rose from deep inside the house. Hunk was besides the wall where Lance fell through quickly grabbed him under the armpit ready to run. 

Lance hardly got to his feet when another sound raced through the place. It sounded almost like power shutting down... but the power wasn't on to start. Lance glanced around feeling shadows race by him. 

Nothing was there. 

They took off down the hall looking back not seeing what was coming. They quickly met the rest in the entrance hall minus Keith and Krolia. Bayards drawn looking around for trouble. 

"We haven't seen anything but we can sense it. It's... it's like it's not really there. A shadow. Do you know what it is Lance?" Shiro asked glancing around 

"They couldn't tell me. They just told me to run."

"Who?" Pidge asked turning as a sound erupted from the other end

It sounded like an animal in pain. The deep howl shattering invisible glass that seemed to shower around the paladins. Lance fired a shot from the corridor Hunk and him came from. It seemed to pierce a shadow. 

But the shadow didn't flinch. A new sound erupted from it however. A long wait as the shadow stepped forward into sight. 

The shadow wasn't a shadow at all. Long greasy blond hair limp around his waist. Eyes black as sin. Skin waxy and sunken in. Lance's shot keeping a gaping hole blinking from his side but no blood bloomed from it. 

Lance felt his blood run cold as he noticed it's most important feature. 

"Altean!"

"Something isn't right... what's wrong with them?" Allura's voice weak with a panic

The Altean seemed to breath heavily and stared at the group but it wasn't focusing. Like it was dazed... or waiting. 

A crash from the other side sent everyone l's hand to their weapons. Keith and Krolia appeared seeming to sink their weapon into something behind them. But it had no effect. 

"Run now!" Keith shouted slicing at its head but it was like air

Another Altean. 

The appearance of its friend sent the blond one to life. It lunges toward the group at a heavy pace. Feet light despite its condition. 

Lance attempted to blast it against a closer range but the blast simply seemed to disappear through it. He pushed Pidge toward the door shooting again and again. He could feel Keith fighting besides them now as they backed quickly toward the lions. 

Then the Alteans's voices echoed through 

"Join us mortals! We can saaaave you. Make sure you are invincible! Saaaaave your soooooouls."

Lance cleared his throat aiming another blast straight through the forehead of one but still nothing. They seemed to hover slightly gaping mouths and dark eyes endless. 

"Weeeee can't save yooooou though. Nooooot yooooooou. The flowers kill allllllll. Mortal or immortal. It is a fatal fllllllaw."

Lance felt himself pale considerably at the mention of the flowers. 

"We don't want to join you anyway!" Keith hissed backing closer and closer to Black keeping the Alteans at bay

But that seemed to be the wrong choice of words. 

The Alteans hissed pausing to looking at each other than back at the group. 

"Ifffff yoooou dont jooooin yoooou must perish!"

One made a grab at Lance but he ducked finally turning fully to ran to Red. He only made it three strides though when he heard a hiss of pain and felt the thud off knees hitting the ground. 

He peaked back to see Keith clutching his side. Blood seeping through his fingers as the extended claws of the Alteans raised to strike again. 

"No!"

Lance dove back toward them. Crashing hard into the Altean closets to Keith. That seemed to do the trick as it knocked them off balance enough for him to grab Keith. The Alteans seemed stunned at the actions and took several moments before they regained momentum. 

Krolia saw the situation unfolding quickly rushed to Lance's side to help her son. Once Keith was fully passed off Lance took another running dive at the pair forcing them to scatter and hiss. 

"You will dieeeeee painfully mortal! The flowers killllllll worse than usssssss!"

"Lance let's go!"

He could hear the lions roar to life as Shiro spoke in his earpiece. He took back off toward Red again but not before one of the Alteans managed to slice the side of his calf. He hissed shortening in stride slightly. Red however could sense the pain and quickly came forward to protect him. 

Another hiss rang from behind him as the jaws closed giving Lance safety. The paladins quickly geared out of there screeches quickly drowned out and out of earshot. 

Lance panted leaning back in the picket seat. He coughed slightly letting a few petals float to the ground. No use trying to stifle them at this point. 

"Sound off how we doing?" Allura called through 

"Good here. Still have the data!"

"Really would appreciate not almost dying but you know at this point... kinda use to it."

"Small scratch on the leg but I will live. How's Keith? Look like he took a hit."

"He did," Shiro's voice came back through

"We are putting him in the healing pod now. He got lucky though could have been worse. Lance you will be next for that leg."

Lance gritted his teeth squeezing his eyes as they drew farther and farther away. 

"You couldn't kill them. They figured out immortality," Lance whispered 

"Only part of it though... did you hear them? Immortality didn't include the flowers. Which means they had to think of another thing right?" Hunk came in hopeful from the other side

"I'm analyzing the data now. I will know for sure in a few days. If not hopefully there is at least something to go off of from there."

"No," Lance's voice ran clear through, "If there is nothing then we move on. We are doing risking ourselves for that again. Not for nothing. If nothing pops up we keep pace back home. Hopefully we haven't wasted too much time."

"But Lance..." Pidge tried to reason

But Lance already shut off his com again


	15. Chapter 15

Kosmo eventually appeared sniffing at Lance's leg. The cut had turned nasty despite Lance cleaning it. It hadn't been long either. Whatever the... thing had done to it acted quickly. 

"Guess we should go see if that healing pod is ready don't you think?" Lance asked Kosmo patting his head lightly

The colors behind Lance's eye lids shifted as there was a brief feeling of warmth then chill while they teleported. Lance blinked slowly noticing they were now safely in Black right besides the healing pod. 

"Good you are here!" Shiro placed a hand on Lance's shoulder looking down to his leg

"It turned nasty quick. Not sure what it had under those fingernails but guess it was nothing good," Lance tried to shrug off looking over to Keith still in the healing pod 

"He should be out soon. He got scratched along his side. Pretty deep. Once he's out though you are in so don't go anywhere ok?"

Lance nodded sinking besides the pod looking up at Keith. 

Overwhelming guilt flooded him. Keith got hurt because of him. The whole team was out in danger. Over what? Nothing useful probably. 

Shiro hesitated before sitting besides Lance. His gaze locked into Keith as well. 

"It wasn't your fault Lance. I can see the wheels spinning in your mind."

"It doesn't matter. We aren't going through that again. I'm not putting the team at risk for a maybe. I've already accepted my fate. You all need to as well."

Shiro frowned squeezing Lance's good knee 

"Look Lance, the point of a team is to have each other back. You all had mine the whole time we were dealing with Haggar's mind control. I know I was cruel to you especially. Yet you all stood right besides me the whole time. It's our turn to do that for you Lance."

"There is nothing we can do Shiro. Unless by some miracle we can find some doctor who knows how to remove the flowers without killing me then it's hopeless. Not to mention even when they remove them I will lose memories to all those I love. Not just the one causing all... this. I wouldn't remember my family or you guys. I would never be able to experience love again either. It's almost... not worth it."

"So you would rather just suffer with your memories rather than hoping the surgery would work?"

Lance nodded biting his lip. Shiro's gaze changes from Keith to Lance but Lance kept looking at Keith. 

"Is there really no chance of us finding this person and seeing if you can build some feelings together?"

Lance shook his head 

"Nope. It's too late. Not even worth the fight Shiro."

"But it is Lance. Why can't you see that? This crew really cares for you. They are your friends. Not to mention your family is waiting for you. What are we supposed to say?"

"I have letters ready for when-"

"No."

Shiro rose slightly a glint in his eye. Lance actually felt a bit of fear for the first time in awhile. A different type of fear. More... fear of disappointment. 

"We will figure this out Lance ok. We will get you home and you will tell your family all about your adventures yourself."

Before Shiro could say anymore the pod opened. Keith slumped out into Shiro's waiting arms. 

"Wha 'appen"

"You got hurt but it's ok all better now," Lance smirked standing grabbing the spare suit

Keith looked around slightly confused. Kosmo nudging at his hand demanding attention. Keith's long slow blinks seem to be the signal of how well his brain was working. 

"What are you doing?" Keith finally forced as Lance turned back around dressed

"It's my turn," he said lifting his leg, "I'll see you in a bit."

Keith nodded dumbly as Shiro set him against the wall to type in what was needed for Lance. The pod smoked as it closed and Lance went to sleep immediately. 

"Come on. Let's get you functioning," Shiro muttered helping Keith to full height again

"Lance?" Keith mumbled looking back to the pod

"He will be ok for now. You can come back was your brain is on," Shiro tapped Keith's skull earning a scowl

After some food goo and some weird alien form of coffee Keith was catching up on the details. 

"Pidge any break in the code?"

"Basically what I'm getting is they were trying to heal weird things like I guess types of alien diseases that are like our cancer on earth right. They tried to counter it with immortality. However they gave each person the chance to chose life or death. I don't know morbid I guess. They would monitor them and see why they needed to heal the others. It worked on some but there were obvious side effects to the whole immortality deal."

"So those Alteans..."

"Yeah... experiments that managed immortality. Obviously doesn't look too good on them and I bet if I could have ran scans on them their minds were probably a waste."

"Ok... but did it have any advice on healing without the immortality?" Hunk butted in the tapping of his finger on the chair's arm could be heard through the com

"Ummm no. Actually the few times immortality succeeded then failed was because of Hanahki. Apparently it was actually a little more common especially in this place which would make sense. Bunch of sick patients falling for each other only to be separated by death and unable to receive the love back."

Keith leaned back pinching the bridge of his nose. 

"So what you are saying is... we got nothing."

"Nothing for Lance... useful info for another idea of mine? Yes, but I haven't found anything yet that could help Lance. I'm still looking though."

Keith felt his mood sink. His heart plummeting to his feet. His body cold and head aching at the news. 

All that for nothing. 

"Umm Keith, while you were in the pod Lance did say if we found nothing to give up and move on. We can't ... we can't do that. We have to think of something."

"The problem is going to be convincing Lance that if we find a surgeon to do the surgery," Shiro interrupted, "He's more afraid of loosing feelings and memories of his loved ones than he is of dying."

An uncomfortable feeling wiggled through Keith. The thought of actually losing Lance was not a pleasant one. Not one he wanted to discuss. 

"We will think of something. For now we keep heading toward Earth and hopefully we get some info by then. Hopefully we get lucky."

Keith turned ignoring the rest of the commentary through the com. His mind heavy and thick. His thoughts struggling to connect. It wasn't from the pod either. 

"I'm going to wait for him to wake," Keith muttered to Shiro standing

"Ok. Be careful with him. I'm sure he's not showing it to us but I think he's more disappointed that we didn't find anything. He doesn't want anyone to get hurt again though. That's why he's putting his foot down."

Keith scoffed. It was such a Lance thing. To think at one point he would have considered him selfish. Definitely not anymore. 

Keith took his spot besides the pod. The timer saying he would be out shortly. 

Keith brought his knees to his chest as he stared at Lance through the front of the pod. Even at rest his normally happy face seemed lined with worry. He knew inside Lance's chest vines and flowers were weaving themselves around his heart and lungs. The thought that they didn't have long to find hope brought a fresh sting to Keith's eyes. 

He hissed blinking them away. The thought of Lance leaving him- the team... was not ok. Keith tried imagining what it would be like without Lance. 

He simply felt so alone...

This must be how Lance feels... seeing he keeps separating himself from us

Keith's hands curled into fists as the pod buzzed and the doors began to slide open. 

Keith wouldn't let Lance stay like that. Even if they only had a couple months Keith was going to make sure Lance never had another lonely day. Ever. He wasn't going to let him down. 

Not again. 

Keith stood to catch Lance as he stumbled out of the pod. 

"Hey," Lance croaked eyes trying to adjusted 

"Hey. Feel better?"

Lance hummed pulling himself up slightly looking over to Keith. Lance's cheeks seemed a bit pink but Keith brushed the thought away. 

"Come on. Let's get some food in you."


	16. Chapter 16

"So... nothing?"

Keith had caught Lance up on the news. That pit in his stomach was there grinding itself deeper and deeper. An internal voice whined at the casualness of Lance's voice. 

Keith wasn't sure if it was better to have Lance panic or not. At least if he did panic though it meant that he was still fighting. Now it just feels like he's given up. 

"Well fingers crossed Pidge can decode a bit more. Something will line up and make sense. It is just going to take time."

"Time that I don't have," Lance paused putting down his spoon his gaze shifting out 

They could see Red from there point. Being drug slightly by Blue since Lance was off getting healed. The never ending black that surrounded them slowly creeping by. 

"We need to get home Keith. I've got a feeling they are in trouble. You all are already going to be late as it is. We can't take anymore detours."

"I know."

Lance seemed a bit surprised that someone finally agreed with him. 

"That doesn't mean we are giving up on you though."

Lance scowled looking at his now empty bowl. 

"We care too much Lance we aren't leaving you behind. Plus we need you to help save the world Lance. Voltron can't do that without you."

Keith felt his hand spasm in his lap. The overwhelming urge to protect Lance was running in full gear. Keith already vowing to himself not to leave his side till they find an answer. He just hoped Lance wouldn't chase him away. 

"I just... need you all to be realistic and prepared for the worse. It's going to hurt but... I want the damage to be minimal when it does happen."

Keith gritted his teeth. 

Why couldn't he get it through his thick head?

Kosmo interrupted them with a sigh from under the table. Both looked down to see his eyes moving from one to the other. The exhaustion from the day still heavy. The pods healed you but it wasn't like a proper sleep when it happened. If anything it was more draining. 

Keith stood reaching for Lance's hand. Lance tilted his head confused but accepted it. Keith slipped his head through Kosmo's fur and in a blink they were inside the red lion. 

Blue detached herself letting Lance take full control again. Red purred at having her paladin back. Keith could feel it in his bones. He watched as Lance closed his eyes with a slight smile listening to her talk. 

"You didn't have to come back with me you know," Lance muttered eyes still closed 

"We need more rest. Kosmo will just come get me once you sleep anyway," Keith said kicking off his shoes and removing his jacket

"Sorry for-"

"No. I don't accept it. Now get ready for bed."

Lance snorted doing a mocking salute before turning to wash up. 

Keith sunk into the bed. He realized he was putting himself in a dangerous position. He had feelings for Lance prior to working for the Blade but once he was away the feelings had left too. Spending all this time with Lance... he knew it could trigger them to be reborn. Not that it mattered. Lance loved some girl... who cruelly didn't love him back. 

Keith understood that Lance could take some time to love. It took Keith awhile... but how could you not love him. He was Lance. 

But the reason he was so determined to keep Lance's hope alive. To keep him happy was he did see section of the future. While trapped in the quantum abyss he saw older Lance with who assumed were his nieces. Happy and carefree as he always was swinging them around as the squealed in delight. 

The future may not set in stone... but there was a chance right? That they picked the right choices that the path still lead to a happy Lance. 

It had too

When Lance joined Keith he was scrolling across his phone. Already in comfy clothes for the night. Kosmo as well ready at the door of the bed. Lance hit the light sliding in besides Keith. There was still that slight awkwardness. Normally they were joined in bed due to the nightmares not so much before. 

Keith shut off the phone setting it besides him. His brain already growing sluggish again. Sleep seemed like a welcoming solution. Lance however was struggling. 

"Is there something you need?" Keith finally asked as Lance stirred once again in the attempt to find a spot

"My brain is tired but my body isn't ," Lance sounded frustrated as he turned back to his back facing the ceiling 

A memory drifted back into Keith's mind... no a feeling. From his time on the whale. There was a moment he was struggling to sleep and he felt it then. He was out in a matter of minutes. 

"Do you trust me?" Keith sounded so soft in that moment Lance felt his heart skip

"Are you going to knock me out?"

"What? No!"

"Then I trust you," Lance snickered trying time count sheep again

Lance felt Keith's hand move from under the blankets toward his head. His thoughts emptying in confusion. His eyes immediately fluttered at the sensation of Keith dragging his hand through his hair. Nails brushing at the scalp. 

Lance's whole body tingled. Heat fanned out across his body. Everything seemed more sensitive. This was going to do the exact opposite of what he needed. 

But Lance wasn't going to tell him to stop

He let his eyes drift close letting the feeling send waves of euphoria to every nerve ending. The hum seemed to send a soothing sensation to his lungs too. For the first time in awhile giving relief to the consistent scratching. 

Keith smirked watching as Lance's breath evened out in a matter of minutes. His body visibly relaxing deeper into the bed with each stroke. He was asleep before he could register it. 

Keith didn't stop his movements however. He let his hand keep Lance locked into the deep sleep. The heat and presence of Lance besides him was doing the very same trick to him. Keith felt his eyes drift with each count of Lance's breath. He quickly followed Lance into the dream world.


	17. Chapter 17

There were more feelings that Keith had felt while stuck on the whale that he couldn't understand. Some had visions of it often time he could briefly see Lance but never exactly what was going on. He never really put it together either.

For the most part time blended together. It got confusing who's thoughts were who's and who's past or future was involved. Occasionally though Keith would just get that feeling. That sense of Lance. Waking up the next morning he quickly discovered one of those feelings. 

Lance was still softly snoring as he should. He woke up three times in a panic. Dreams eating away his sanity. He would never talk about what they were but just fade back to sleep. 

Watching him now, finally peacefully after the struggle of the night, curled slightly into Keith's chest Keith remembered one of those feelings. He had felt this before... just... not yet... not then. 

Peace... peace of seeing Lance at peace was the best he could think. 

His mind drifted back to the whale thinking of more moments. What he did last night with the hand in Lance's hair... was that something he would feel again in the future? It definitely wasn't something from his past. So it had to be something that would happen to him... but was it from Lance or someone else?

Lance grunted slightly in his sleep curling closer to Keith for warmth. Keith's phone let him know he had ten minutes till the alarm went off. He glanced back down at Lance. His face still lined with worry even in his sleep. 

Lance didn't deserve this. Sure he could be obnoxious and a bit of a loverboy but he had never done any true harm. He was always the one who had your back when you least expected it. He did his best even if the team failed to acknowledge it most the time. 

Keith felt his gut twist. They could really lose him. They could really lose Lance if they didn't figure this out. It wasn't even about losing the pilot for Red and having to rearrange pilots again. The idea of losing Lance...

Keith gritted his teeth careful reaching for his phone. He sent a quick text to Krolia. More then likely she was awake. Keith was hoping maybe by some miracle someone in the Blade knew something to help. Anything. Even if it was just a way to convince Lance to try the surgery. Just to give the chance for Lance to stay. 

His phone buzzed and he looked back down. 

Still no signal from the Blade. I'll let you know. We are doing training runs this morning. Be ready. 

Keith sighed looking back down at Lance. His nose crinkling again as if his mind was fighting another battle again. Keith careful nudged him. Kosmo stirring at their feet letting his thick tail hit against Lance's thigh. 

Lance stirred groaning slightly but not yet awake. Keith's alarm went off moments later forcing the boys to rise fully. 

"Krolia says we are doing training this morning. I'll be back later then," Keith said sliding off the bed stretching slightly

"You know I don't need a babysitter right?"

"I'm not being a babysitter Lance. I'm being a friend."

Lance turned to Keith with an odd look on his face. His blue eyes seemed shiny despite just waking up. He blinked a bit before turning away stretching and yawning to distract himself. Lance felt like his heart could be heard it was beating so loud. The scratching on his lungs strike forcing him into a bundle of coughing. A few petals slipped past despite his attempt. 

Keith gaining an unrecognizable look on his face. 

Lance went to open his mouth to apologize but Keith held up his hand walking over and grabbing a water handing it to him. The tickle rises again before he could drink adding a few more petals to the floor. Keith pat Lance's back slightly awkwardly. There wasn't much he could do really as Lance chugged the water. 

As he finished Keith quickly bent down to pick up the petals earning a disgusted look. 

"Keith don't. There is blood and saliva on them. I can handle-"

But Keith raised his hand again silencing Lance. 

He picked up the rest taking them to the trash. Lance groaned letting his head hit the wall behind him. 

He was ready for it to be over already. He didn't like the pity. He didn't like the pain. The consistent reminder that despite Keith helping him like this... Keith didn't love him. 

And it was literally going to be the death of him. 

"Feeling ok now?"

Lance reopened his eyes looking up at Keith. He nodded slightly as Keith rested a hand on Lance's forehead. A small frown on his face. 

Lance felt his face heat up from the simple contact. 

"Are you sure? You feel a bit warm?"

"I'm fine. Really," Lance squeaked sitting up letting Keith's hand fall as he did

"We can skip training..."

Lance stood fully shaking his head. He nudged Kosmo toward Keith. 

"No we train. I'll see you later ok... and thank you... for everything," Lance ducked his head to hide the heat creeping across it again

Keith simply nodded letting his hand rest on Kosmo's fur feeling himself transport back to the Black lion. Shiro still bleary eyes as he looked up. 

"Is this the new cycle then? You staying over there?"

"He has nightmares," Keith mumbled as Kosmo disappeared probably for the Yellow lion

"He always has Keith... why are you just noticing them now?"

Keith narrowed his eyes

"What do you mean always?"

Shiro shrugged running a hand over his face looking back out into the inky darkness around them. 

"I mean... even day one. I would catch him in random parts of the castle all the time because he couldn't sleep over them. I'm surprised you never noticed. You were just as active at night as he was."

Keith frowned. How has he not noticed? 

"Kosmo is who keeps bringing me over when he has them. So I just... stay I guess."

Shiro hummed just as Kosmo reappeared with breakfast from Hunk. Keith taking off a bit and tossing it to the wolf to eat. Shiro's eyes not leaving Keith as he passed the food out to the others in the back. 

When Keith came back to the front he raised an eyebrow at Shiro waiting. 

"Just... be careful. You are spending a lot of time with him. The flowers might not be contagious but you use to have a crush on him at one point. You awake those feelings and we... don't find help-"

"We will," Keith set his jaw firm eyes narrowing at the suggestion, "We are going to find him help. He will be ok. Do not tell me to be prepared because I won't let him down. Got it."

"That's not what I'm saying Keith. I'm saying be careful because if you aren't you are going to get hurt in this too."

"And we should just let him suffer?"

Shiro sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. 

"No. Look I'm stressed and worried for Lance too. I'm helping Pidge with anything I can on that data. We are going to find something to help. I'm just trying to tell you to take care of yourself too. Ok?"

Keith grumbled scowling. His feathers ruffled and on edge. Krolia walked in as the pair took the last bites of breakfast in silence. 

"If you two are done fighting now I think we should get to training."


	18. Part 18

Pidge chewed on the end of her pen looking at all her notes. So much gibberish hardly any of it really made sense but it was all she had. She had to figure out something. Maybe she would have better luck with some Earth or Altean doctors but she was fresh out of those. 

"Am I the only one thinking Lance is lying?" Hunk asked from behind her

She glanced over at him to see him playing with her little trash buddies. They would stack themselves on his fingers before stacking onto one another. 

"Lying about what?"

"About the alien girl none of us know about. You know... I know Lance would wander on his own a lot and such to flirt with locals. Obviously being a paladin would have if effects on some but... I don't know I just don't think it's the full truth."

"You think he's still in love with Allura?"

Hunk frowned waving the little trash buddies away as he looked over Pidge's shoulder. 

"Well... I don't know if it's really Allura. I think we have all noticed he's been treating her more like a sister or friend."

"Then who?" Pidge looked over to the red lion where Lance and Kosmo were doing whatever it was they do

"Not sure but I think Keith knows who it is. I think that's part of why he's been helping Lance so much recently."

"You don't think it's because of the crush Keith had on Lance before he left?" Pidge pointed out glancing at the Black lion where Keith currently was

"Wait since when did Keith have a crush on Lance?" Hunk asked genuinely surprised 

Pidge waved her hand lightly looking toward her notes again, "Before he joined the Blade. The only thing that doesn't match with it though is if Lance's love is for Keith and Keith has feelings for Lance the flowers shouldn't be hurting him as they are."

Pidge adjusted her glasses pulling up a certain page handing it to Hunk. 

"You see the closer you are to the one the flowers are for the gentler they are on your lungs and heart. They still grow but at a slower rate to help encourage the pair to bond its less painful and the other person is actually soothing to them."

"Well... Keith has been sleeping over in Red. Lance's nightmares are in full force apparently so Kosmo fetched Keith as they start."

"Yet I haven't seen a difference between when Keith is with Lance and Keith is away from him. The petals just seem to come as they wish."

Hunk sighed giving Pidge back her paper. He leaned his head against the back of the chair in defeat. 

"Fine. Not Allura or Keith. So who is it?"

"That's not my job to find out. I just need to remove them without destroying our Lance. That's my job," Pidge said firmly cleaning her glasses

Hunk hummed looking out into the darkness of space. 

"Have you heard from Matt or your dad yet?"

Pidge shook her head, "Heard from Shay?"

Hunk shook his head the glum feeling spreading through the cabin. 

~~~~~~~~

Keith was looking over some logs as they continued their steady pace through space. It had already been a few days since saying goodbye to Krolia and Acxa as they went on to find the rest of the Blades and allies that the creepy guy on the destroyed planet hadn’t already tricked. 

As dull as it was they had all settled into a routine. He would wake up with Lance then they typically ate breakfast. After they would do a few hours of drills and formations before a small break. Lunch happened eventually then either more drills or even just chatting some days before they had dinner and settled for bed. It was dull and slow but everyday was closer to Earth. 

Keith could feel Shiro’s eyes staring into the back of his head. Ever since the slight argument over Lance, Keith felt like Shiro deserved the cold shoulder. When all this first happened he had suggested that Keith still had feelings for Lance

... which he absolutely did not...

Now he was going on about how he should give the boy space. Not for Lance’s own good but just in case Keith caught feelings again too. Keith hadn’t realized he could be so cold to Shiro till now. 

“Are you really just going to ignore me then?”

Keith shrugged turning a page. 

Shiro sighed approaching Keith crouching besides him. 

“Look I’m sorry. Things didn’t come out the way they were suppose to. You know we all love Lance and don’t want him to suffer. We are doing what we can to find a way to help him. Pidge is working like crazy.”

“But it’s not enough. Is it?”

Shiro sighed and nodded, “Yeah your right. It’s not looking good right now. Time is really against us but we will figure out something. We also do and Lance will be ok.”

Shiro reaches over lightly squeezing Keith’s forearm.

“And you know I will also support you in you choices. I just don’t want to see you in the same pain as he is now. I don’t want to see him in the pain he’s in now. You have always had a soft spot for him though and I just don’t want to see it get you in trouble.”

“Like I don’t have a soft spot for you? And you don’t have one for me? Come on Shiro... you know how this goes. Someone gets hurt in the end anyway and it’s also the kid with nothing else to lose.”

“But you are not the kid with nothing else to lose anymore. You have a lot to lose you realize that right.”

Keith stayed silent keeping his eyes on the papered log in front of him. He wasn’t wrong he had gained so much since coming to space. The thing is one of those things was Lance. Be in friendship form or not Keith refused to let him go. He had already lost so much. The idea of losing Shiro had hurt desperately. The idea of losing Lance was just as sickening. 

“It’s worse then... because now I have people to lose.”

“And we are going to make sure it doesn’t happen ok. Just have a bit of faith,” Shiro gave him a small smile before returning to the back

It wasn’t long before Kosmo brought over dinner. Everyone settling to chat over the coms as they are trying to keep morale up as Hunk and Shiro suggested. Allura and Romelle were more gossiping to themselves then with the group. Though Keith knew Romelle has spent most the day with Lance today. He couldn’t help but feel a slight twinge in his gut at the thought of it but chose to ignore it. 

No sooner had dinner finished did Kosmo appear already begging for Keith to hurry up. 

“Go on. I’ll take over and handle first shift like normal,” Shiro said earning an annoyed huff from the Black lion but let him regain access anyway

The Black lion may not exactly like having to constantly have to switch paladins even if it was just for the night flying never for training or real combat. The lion however seemed to understand it was needed and let his paladin go when it was time. Though they had a feeling if a fight broke out he wouldn’t let Shiro pilot. 

Keith dug his hand into Kosmo’s fur blinking till Lance’s form filled his vision. 

He felt a heavy feeling sink into his bones and soul as he spotted him. Slightly pale but a smile on his face as he patted Kosmo giving him the remainder of his dinner. Keith took a few steps forward pressing the back of his hand to Lance’s forehead. 

“What?” Lance winced slightly at Keith’s hand

“You are a bit warm. Are you feeling ok?”

Lance shrugged pulling off his jacket heading to the bathroom. 

“The meds we have been using... I’m out. So I’m not super surprised if I run a bit of a fever the next 24 hours.”

A cloud formed in Keith as he waited for Lance to return. The cloud seemed to hold on his face because Lance stopped at it. 

Lance tilted his head confused. He was already in his sleepwear and his face seemed to agree that bedtime was here. 

Keith really didn’t think when he did it. He just took the last few steps over to Lance and wrapped him into a tight hug. His fingers digging themselves into Lance’s clothing. 

“Lance... I... we just... we can’t lose you. Please understand. We aren’t giving up on you so please don’t give up. Please.”

Lance chuckled slightly feeling a hand to Keith’s forehead, “Who are you and what have you done to Keith? You sure you aren’t the one with the fever Mullet?”

But Keith simple tightened his grip. Lance eventually falling slack in his arms. Leaning against him letting himself relax for just a moment. 

“I’ve lost too much Lance. I really don’t want to have to again,” Keith muttered 

Lance finally retuned the hug, “Keith... I’m sorry... I just don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up.”

“Bullshit.”

Keith really wanted to scream and hit Lance. Maybe smack some sense into him but he knew better then that. He knew it would be pointless. So he simple tightened his grip on Lance as they stood there simply waiting for one to shake the other away. 

Neither could bring themselves to do it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick apology for how long it took the next update to get here. For those who didn't hear I changed my schedule around. The idea was to just go ahead and write the rest and edit before posting. Hopefully now the rest of this will be posted smoothly. Ideally I'll update weekly even twice a week just depending on my work schedule! But basically at least it's all written out I just need to fine tune random parts now!

"Well at least he knows you don't hate him right?" Romelle said picking at something under her nail with a frown

Lance chuckled, "Yeah a took awhile to get that way though. We use to always be at each other's throats."

"And becoming paladins help changed it?"

"Well I think that's part of it. When you spend so much time locked in a castle with someone else you tend to be forced to bond anyway."

Romelle chuckled moving to sit right on the right arm of the pilot's seat. 

"There is still something I don't understand about you Lance."

Lance hummed glancing over at the yellow lion which had been lagging behind earlier that day. Luckily Hunk seemed to have fix whatever issue was bugging it. As much as the lions could use the rest they really didn't have the time for it. They needed to get to Earth. 

He had been entertaining Romelle with the story of the other paladins. How they all met and just funny stories in general. Anything to help pass the time really. 

"The girl you are in love with... why don't you want to find her? Even if it's a small chance. If you loved her so dearly to develop the flowers it would make sense. Not to mention but you seem like rather the romantic type."

Lance sighed wiggling his nose. 

"It's more complicated then that."

"What was she already married?"

Lance chuckled, "No not that."

Romelle frowned putting her chin on her palm. She let out a small huff of air as she stared out into space. Lance could feel her wracking her brain. 

Lance's phone let out a small ping drawing his attention away from her. A small smile played across his face at the screen. It was Keith of course. He had grown a habit of messaging Lance often. Maybe a bit too often but Lance didn't mind. He often was the one to send him dorky photos to begin with. Now that his moral seemed to be lower Keith opted to be the one sending silly messages now. 

K- Did Kosmo leave that weird ball thing with you?

L- yeah on the bed

K- just making sure he didn't lose it

L- or were you just looking for a reason to talk to me ;)

K- funny ha ha Lance

Lance tried to rein in the smile on his face but he knew it probably wasn't possible. When he looked back up he spotted Romelle giving him a funny look. He cocked an eyebrow slightly confused. 

"What's with the look?" 

"What's with yours?" She returned 

Lance frowned shrugging setting the phone down. Only for it to buzz again. Both faces turned to see Keith had again sent him a message. He opened it to see a picture of Kosmo chasing his tail. 

The smile returned as he sent a heart back to Keith. 

Romelle gasped making a weird silent shrieking noise. Lightly slapping Lance on the shoulder over and over. 

"Ow what Romelle? It was just a photo of Kosmo!"

She moved forward grabbing Lance's shoulders shaking him. Gibberish spilling from her mouth in a flood of odd noises. Eyes wide with a stupid smile yet shock also on her face. 

"You were lying! I knew it! I knew it! Laaaaaaance lance lance lance! You idiot! Why didn't you just tell someone the truth?"

Lance carefully pulled himself from Romelle, "What on Earth are you talking about?"

The phone buzzed again. This time Romelle reached down snatching it before Lance. She opened it to see a new photo. This one a selfie of Keith and Kosmo sitting in the pilot seat of Black together. 

"The only thing I can think of is you didn't say anything not to ruin the dynamic of the team right? That and obviously the whole thing isn't reciprocated but OMG LANCE!!! You moron! Thinking you don't have a chance here look!" She shoved the phone at his face

Lance felt his soul ripple slightly at the photo. Keith's small smiles were rare. He often hoarded any sight of them to himself. 

"What about it?"

Romelle didn't even let it slide as she smacked him hard in the back of the head.

"OW!"

Lance rubbed his head frowning. He snatched the phone back from Romelle as she started to pace and rant in front of him. 

L- save me Rom is getting abusive

K- don't flirt with her then

L- I WASN'T

K- sure....

L- seriously take her or something 

L-... actually no I should send her to Allura 

K- have fun with that

"Lance you aren't even listening to me right now are you?"

Lance sighed looking up shaking his head. Romelle pouted before snatching his phone and smacking him again. 

"Ow! Stop it!"

"No you idiot listen to me!"

She sat down setting the phone next to her. She looked up at Lance expectantly but after nothing she sighed. 

"The flowers are for Keith aren't they."

"I have no clue what you are talking about."

"Don't make me hit you again," Lance winced at the statement 

"Look Romelle-"

"Don't tell me it doesn't matter Lance. Obviously it matters. The flowers are a tricky business. The only reason they bloom is from unrequited love BUT the thing is that love has to be true. Real. Forever. That's the reason it's such a big deal. It's like... what almost soulmate like I guess? Well I mean not really but like there is a reason you can't love another after it. That's the love you are supposed to be with. Ignoring it will kill you."

"Obviously it's killing me now isn't it."

"But it doesn't have to!"

Lance sighed again rubbing a hand over his face. He didn't want to explain it to anyone. Romelle granted was probably the easiest too but it still was exhausting to think about. 

"It's not worth dealing with. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't. Why bother bugging others over it when it's not going to change. It's unrequited for a reason. I'm just going to keep my head down and do the best I can to help everyone with the remaining time. Got it."

Romelle stood raising her hand again like she was about to try and smack more sense into him. She paused however and began to ice again. Her finger tapping her lip lightly as she thought. She took a deep breath before planting herself firmly in front of Lance. Hands on her hips. No note of jokes on her face. 

"Lance McClain you are an idiot."

Lance went to open his mouth but she simply raised her hand silencing him. 

"You are. You can't deny it. I obviously haven't been here as long as the others. I'm just now waltzing into this drama here but I was with Keith for a while before returning to you. He talked fondly of his team. He talked fondly of you. He has stood by you religiously through this whole process. From the moment he found out and he has protected you from any possible bad outcome. He and Pidge have been digging through every possible crumb of data on this disease. He doesn't want to lose you. Losing you would probably break him Lance. He is with you everyday. He has been sleeping with you every night. He sends you and only you these little messages throughout the day. He might be in live with you Lance but he is already part way there. He's not blind Lance and he's not a robot. He has feelings there that he's probably conflicted about."

"There is nothing conflicting about the situation Romelle. I'm on a time limit. I'm going to die. Unless they find a doctor to remove them and I survive the surgery there is still the whole no more feelings thing and memories. Not just if Keith but of everyone I care about. That's a lot of people Romelle. Like a lot."

Romelle presses her hands on either side of Lance leaning in. The look on her face suddenly cold. 

"Think if it the other way around Lance. Keith suddenly coughing up flowers. Claiming he's in love with a stranger. Let's say your feelings are there but not love just yet. How do you think you would respond Lance? You think you would do anything to save him and just push the confusion aside? Or would you find his lover?"

"I would try and find his lover. It's the best way right? Best chance?"

"Great. Now he won't tell you anything about them. Refuses. Even after you beg and beg for a hint. A clue. What would you do Lance?"

Lance huffed annoyed at the corner he was being backed into. 

"Obviously I would help him Romelle."

"Help him like he's been helping you or how the others have? There has been a difference hasn't there or are you that stupid?"

Lance narrowed his eyes slightly sinking into his chair. 

"Yeah the others love you Lance, and they are doing everything in their power to help you. There is a difference though isn't there. Who is the one coming to your aid over any little thing? Who is in your bed at night? Who is the one sending little messages all day? Who is the one basically treating you like glass no matter how much you complain about it? Who seems to be absolutely terrified of the idea of having to live on without you Lance? Come on Lance can't you see?"

"Will you just shut up alright!"

Lance felt himself snap. Face red voice roughed. He quickly snapped his hand over his mouth pulling his knees to his chest letting his face hide behind them. 

"I can't Romelle. I can't put that pressure on him. I can't pressure him to love me back. I can't give myself false hope. I can’t ruin things anymore then I already have.”

Romelle seemed to hover slightly before dropping down gently patting Lance’s head with a frown. Humans were such a complicated species. Nothing seemed to make a clear sense to their thinking. 

“Lance, listen I know I’m not exactly an expert on all of this. I am however probably the best outside opinion you got. If you aren’t ready to admit it’s Keith then you at least need to wake up a bit and realize that the lies you are telling the others are hurting your chances to live. Keith cares about you. Very deeply. Try being a bit more honest about things. It might surprise you.”

Lance wasn’t looking at Romelle however his gaze was looking in front of them. He clicked on the com system just as Pidge voice came through. 

“Uh What’s that? It’s not on my scanners.”

It didn’t matter what it was because soon the lions and their passengers were silent.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My bad I thought I already posted this 🥺

They were almost home. They were almost home. It was right there. He could see it. They were just outside the Milky Way. They would need to do some scans and still needed to baby the lions a bit but there were only a day away.

They were almost home.

The paladins explained what happened to the others. The wave came through that knocked the lions offline and freezing the others. Then they got separated and blasted all the way across the galaxy. An incredible turn of luck honestly.

They did not talk about however the minor break the majority of the paladins seemed to face while drifting in space. At least not to the others directly.

Keith had retuned to the red lion and Romelle left for blue giving Lance a meaningful look before leaving. As soon as Pidge could get them close enough to get a signal through they could go home. Till then they waited.

"It's right there Lance... we are home," Keith whispered once Romelle was gone

"Yeah... who would have thought," Lance mumbled

He was struggling slightly. He didn't think he would have actually had to explain to his family what was going on. That now despite the fact he was back from space... he was now due to die from some weird space flower destroying his lungs.

Oh yeah... how in the world was he going to explain that.

"Are you ok?" Keith squeezed Lance's shoulder

"How the hell am I going to tell them? I didn't think... we were supposed to make it here in time."

Keith's face twisted at the thought. He had been so focused on keeping Lance's spirits up and desperately searching for anything that could help. He had expected to get Lance home healed. That's what he had hoped.

But Lance wasn't healed.

"Momma always said I loved to much. I would get hurt from it one day. Who would have thought it would literally be what kills me,” Lance chuckled causing Keith to tighten his grip on his shoulder

“Shut up. We still have time. Besides maybe there is someone on Earth. They can look at it and help. Surely we have some type of technology down there. Plus Pidge’s parents are down there. They should be able to help. Actually they are probably the perfect people to help.”

He wasn’t exactly wrong about that. The Holt’s probably were Lance’s best chance to remove the flowers. However... that did leave the problem of ripping the feelings out with them. Something Lance has been desperate to avoid.

Keith wished for nothing more than to figure out a way to help. He just wanted Lance ok. He didn’t want to lose Lance. He couldn’t. The thought seemed to spear icicles through his body.

“You know... I didn’t really mean what I said while we were floating... about how you should have stayed away. I’m glad you came back to us.”

Keith dropped his hand from a Lance’s shoulder drifting toward his hand instead. He hesitated slightly but slid into the warmed calloused hand. Years of working on the farm, then at the Garrison, and finally space had worn the hands yet they remained soft with Lance’s care.

“I didn’t want to leave... but I think it was for the best at the time. I’m glad I came back too.”

Lance squeezed Keith’s hand. Romelle’s words drifted into his brain for a brief moment. However they only stirred the flowers in his lungs. He tried to clear his throat only to cave and cough. Keith quick to rest a hand on Lance’s back stroking up and down trying to ease the tension there.

They both winced at the sight of the blood across the red petals. It was getting worse. There were almost enough petals for a full flower. Lance was sure that would be the next step.

Keith eased Lance into the pilot’s seat disappearing for a moment. Returning with some water to help ease Lance’s throat.

“You sure it’s not... painful? With the blood and all.”

Lance shook his head gulping the water down, “It scratches a bit but they said it gets really painful later. We aren’t there yet.”

Keith frowned kneeling in front of Lance. He didn’t like it one bit. It bugged him deeply. Sending spikes through his gut at the thought of Lance being in more pain. Wasn’t unrequited enough?

“We will get you fixed up. I promise.”

Lance gave a slightly weak smile before setting the now empty bottle next to him. He rested his hand on Keith’s head. Messing with his hair slightly. Sending some strands out of his ponytail earning a scowl.

“Can I ask a favor?”

“Is it a bad thing or a future bad thought then I say no.”

Lance snorted slightly but Keith fully sat on the floor in front of the pilot’s seat.Right between Lance’s legs. Lance taking the opportunity to lightly pull Keith’s hair free from its band. Lightly working his scalp with his fingers running any knots out.

I know you don’t like to talk about it or think about... but if we fail to work through these flowers... or even by some miracle we do fix it... it something happens to me-“

“Lance,” Keith warned

Lance collected Keith’s hair back up pulling his hair into a cleaner ponytail. Giving it a slight tug when it’s finished.

“Hold on will you. Just in case... I’m not actually saying-“

“But you’ve been saying... for weeks now Lance.”

“I know... just listen though ok.”

Keith huffed but kept his eyes in front of him. The stars of the Milky Way celebrating as they edged closer. Who would of thought anything would be that beautiful.

“Just in case... do you mind... checking in on my family every once in awhile... I’m sure I’m the end they will be ok. There are a lot of them to look after each other. Just a bit of peace of mind I guess.”

Keith turned resting his chin on Lance’s knee. Lance’s face seemed distant but soft. It just broke Keith’s heart over the fact the boy had already given up hope. It broke Keith knowing he couldn’t really do anything to fix it.

“I can look after them... and I’ll visit you often too. Don’t worry.”

Lance let a soft smile slip. He let his hand wander back to Keith’s hair. He really liked how it looked long. He wanted to be able to braid it one day.

There were a few shorted beeps drawing their attention before suddenly Pidge’s voice crackled onto the com. Her voice raspy and slightly panicked immediately setting the others on edge.

“Guys... we have a problem,” she let a distress signal loop through the coms that was coming from Earth.

“Earth has been captured by Galra.”


	21. Chapter 21

Everything seemed to slow down. 

Another problem to deal with. Earth captured by the Galra. They had to get to Earth another way. They couldn't arrive in the lions. 

"Lance we figured it out. Relax. You still get to see them again,"Keith muttered as they crammed themselves into the the stolen ship leaving the lions on a moon of Saturn

"I know I know. Just... bad thoughts," Lance muttered

Before Lance fully stepped in Keith reached for Lance's hand offering a small squeeze before letting go again. Lance gave a small nod quickly ducking his head around to hide his blush. If the others noticed they didn't say anything. 

Keith took control quickly aiming back to Earth's atmosphere. Hunk bouncing his leg slightly as they picked up speed.

"We are going to crash aren't we?" he muttered only to get confirmation from Keith that they were too heavy and were going to crash land into Earth

For once though Lance was ok with crash landing. They were back on Earth. They were home.

Lance resisted the urge to roll on the ground the moment they were free from the ship. Sure Earth was captured and all but they were finally home. 

Home

Home

Keith was trying his best to ignore the look in Lance's eyes that were as radiant as ever now that they were finally home.

But that was hard to do because Lance caught Keith’s gaze and couldn’t hold off on giving him the most dazzling smile. A smile he hadn’t seen in ages. Since before he had left the team.

Something felt stuck in Keith’s throat as his chest tightened. He had a slight panic that maybe Lance’s condition was actually contagious but relaxed feeling Hunk’s heavy hand smack him on the back.

“Never had such a smooth crash landing. Thanks buddy!”

“Guys. We are finally home!” Pidge squealed

They all seemed to feel a jolt of energy trace through them as they jogged up the hill to look around. Hopefully they crash landed in the right area. Hopefully they were almost home.

Home.

They paused at the top dread spilling through them. Barren stretch of city laid ahead of them. Abandoned buildings and cars held together as a whole apocalyptic mess. Not a soul around.

“This isn’t far from the Garrison,” Pidge muttered looking around

“What happened here?” Lance’s question seemed to woosh out of him taking the earlier excitement

Keith let his shoulder brush against Lance’s slightly as he stepped forward to look closer. Someone had already been there. They had sure done a number on the city below them.

“I don’t know. We need to stay careful. It looks abandoned but maybe there are some hiding. We need to keep clear of the Galra. Make sure there are no traps to fall into. The Garrison knows we crash landed here. I’m sure if they can spare it they will send backup our way to get there.”

Keith glanced over at Lance catching his eye.A heavy feeling settling into him.

“We will get you to your family I promise,” Keith breathed so only Lance could hear

Lance nodded slowly. Limbs feeling like lead as they gathered the rest of their supplies ready to head out. He hunched over for an brief moment letting a few tiny petals work their way up as they had been trying to clog his throat for too long. Hunk patting his back and offering water once he finished.

He hated this feeling. This uselessness. This weakness. This weak link.

He could feel Shiro’s gaze on him from a distance as his breath finally settled and he focused on studying the scene below again. The plan quickly formed to make way toward the Garrison trying to keep clear of the drones nearby.

Keith leading the way ducking and sprinting between piles. The others following while Lance brought up the rear with his blaster ready. They only made it a third of the way when drones surround the area.

“I’m going to draw them out and distract them,” Keith muttered before turning to Lance grabbing the front of his shirt, “Do not miss.”

With that Keith quickly bounded off the drones quick to chase. Small blast emitting from them in pursuit of Keith. Lance quickly took his mark blasting all four out of the air in moments.

“And that’s why you are called sharpshooter. Nice job Lance,” Shiro thumped him on the back lightly as Keith tracked back to the group

“We have more incoming. We need to be quick,” Pidge said looking at her tablet

“Great they called for backup,” Hunk muttered looking into the distance

“Do you all hear that?” Allura whispered ears perked into the direction Keith had originally started toward

The group grew quiet as they listened. It took several seconds but they could also here the slightly rumble and turn of tires approaching.

Lance quickly steadied his blaster again aiming in direction of the incoming noise. However another group of drones quickly flew in before the tires made an appearance.

“Lance!” Allura called out pointing toward the swarm

He took aim only for a shout of “Wait!” erupted from behind them.

Armored vehicles had arrived. The hatch opening while two people in full gear shouted for them to stop. Instead they aimed their own guns at the drones sending static pulses through them letting them drop from the sky.

“Sorry. If you keep blasting like that they send reinforcements,” one spoke removing his helmet

Keith glared slightly as he received him. James Griffin. Of course he would be in charge of a cell now that the Paladins has left Earth. He had been a great student. Even if he was a bit of a prick.

“Come on. We need to get you back to the Garrison before others show up. A patrol should be rolling in before long!” The other removed their helmet

Keith felt Lance still besides him. He glanced at Lance then back at the girl. How did he know her? Keith hadn’t seen her before? An odd feeling tumbled through his veins at the possibilities.

“Veronica?”

“Well hey Lance! Welcome home,” The girl response seemed casual but there was a hint of roughness in her voice

She quickly hoped out and Lance took off toward her. Their hug seemed to suffocate the pair as they reached each other. As a quick shout of joy erupted from Lance.

“You are ok! The others? Are they ok?”

Keith suddenly was lost in translation after that. The language suddenly changed making it impossible for him to keep up. Heck he didn’t even know Lance spoke Spanish.

“Who’s that?” Allura interrupted

“That is Veronica. One of Lance’s sisters,” Hunk said heading toward the vehicles

“She wasn’t with the Garrison when we left was she?” Pidge asked jumping in as Lance and Veronica kept spitting rapid fire outside the vehicle as the others loaded

“I don’t think so,” Hunk said

“Not while I was there either,” Shiro said as they began to drive off

Keith felt the feeling in him dissolve at the information. Instead moving to study Lance again out of the corner of his eye.

There was a new light in Lance. Something that had faded long ago when he had first began his journey. The warmth seem to spread over the group. For the first time, despite the grimness of what was around them, everyone seemed warm.

Or maybe it was just for Keith.


	22. Chapter 22

The drive to the Garrison was surprisingly easy. It gave Keith plenty of time to glance around at the damage the Galra had done. James and Veronica filling them in slightly on the basics. Kosmo rubbed slightly against Keith leg as he rested his giant head in Lance's lap. 

Keith could feel the earlier excitement from rejoining with Veronica fade. Nervousness seemed to ink back into him. Keith spared a glance his way noting Lance rolling his bottom lip in his teeth. It was a bit of a stretch and Shiro noticed the movement but Keith nudged Lance's foot with his. Lance turning slightly to look at Keith. 

Keith gave a small smile and gave a big sigh. Hoping Lance would get the message. Lance smiled slightly but shook his head pointing to his chest. 

His lunges must be bugging him. Must be why he got quiet. 

It also dawned on Keith that they would have to explain it all again... the flowers growing insides Lance. The ones slowly killing him. Stealing every breathe and scratching at his heart. This time having to explain it to his family. Something Lance hadn't wanted to do in the first place. He had already expected to be dead before they reached home.

Keith felt himself wondering about the rest of Lance's family. Both Veronica and Lance went to the Garrison so they had to be smart. What about the others? Did they carry the same happy go lucky attitude as these two? Despite being separated for years they quickly jumped into the groove of each other. Almost like he had never left. 

"So once we get there they will want to hold a full briefing I'm sure. It will be good to finally get all the proper information and maybe be able to take down the Galra," James said as he pulled through the shield walls prepping to park

"Is there a chance we can see our families first?" Hunk asked looking out they window

"I'm sure they are already waiting... but Hunk that does remind me," the vessel bounced slightly as James braked in front of the Garrison 

"Way to land Griffin," Keith muttered earning a glare from Shiro

"This isn't a ship Keith," Allura mused

Keith rolled his eyes feeling several glares on him. However Lance's little snort made him smirk. At least someone found him humorous.

The hatch opened and slowly one by one they stepped out. A crowd of people around them chattering. A few cheers as they spotted those they knew. 

"Katie!"

Heads snapped to the voice as if they were all named Katie. A thin, tall woman stepped away rushing to the vehicle. Pidge leaning out of the doorway jumped out launching herself at the woman who caught her with ease. Gently sinking to the ground with her arms around her a man quickly stepped forward to join them. Tears evident in their eyes. 

Keith could see Lance let out a small smile. Then heads moved again as Lance's name was called. Veronica gently pushed on Lance's back toward the people. 

Keith was surprised to see how stilled Lance seem to get at the sight of his family. Keith gently hip bumped him hoping to break him from the gaze. It worked and Lance quickly took off toward his family. He lost sight of Lance in moments as his family swallowed him into a hug. Words of Spanish and English flying around faster than Keith could keep up with. 

He was nudge slightly and turned to see a sly smirk from Veronica who hadn't joined the rest of her family just yet. She winked at him before hurrying to join the Lance burrito that had formed. 

His attention turned to Hunk as he felt the him slump slightly. 

"They aren't here," he whispered 

"That's... what we need to talk about," James turned to him taking off his helmet, "They are safe for now but they aren't here."

"Where are they then? Can we bring them here?" Keith asked moving his attention away from the McClain reunion 

"That's the tricky part. They are with the Galra. We already tried extracting some people and we lost too many fighters to try a second found. It's part of why we really need to hurry with a plan. They are safe just being used for simply labor. Carrying stuff in mines and such," James pulled his gloves placing them in his helmet with a sigh

"They can give you more details I'm sure but they are safe," with that James stalked off the join his fellow pilots 

"I'm sorry Hunk," Allura gently placed a hand in his shoulder, "I promise we will do everything in power to free them. You have my word," she whispered lightly only earning a small shrug

"We do need get briefed and work on something immediately. We have many pressing matters," Shiro turned to face Iverson

He kept a gruff expression as he looked at both Shiro and Keith having already introduced himself to Coran and Allura. His eye was drawn below as he noticed a thumping around Keith's leg. He carefully leaned down patting Kosmo on the head who gladly accepted the pats. 

"I guess I owe the pair of you an apology," he hummed standing again

"Seems so," Keith muttered under his breath but no one caught the remark

Kosmo suddenly wiggles away from Keith's leg bounding over time where he could now openly see Lance. Lance still on the floor with kids clambering around him. 

Kosmo carefully sniffed the kids who gasped hiding behind Lance. Lance smiled talking to them quietly patting Kosmo's head. One peaked her head out slowly from behind Lance. Kosmo wagged his tail lightly before licking her in the face earning a squeal. 

The kids seemed to fall back into Lance's lap as Kosmo focused himself on the kids in front of him. Gently laying his head on Lance's knee gladly accepting the children's pats. 

"Mrs. Holt," Keith blinked as he looked around for her

"Oh yes dear?" She turned not far from where he was a hand still on Pidge's head as she talked rapidly to her father

"We need to meet with you privately after the briefing if possible. There is an important matter we need to discuss that need to be addressed immediately," Keith muttered to her lightly 

Her face seems to change slightly at Keith's tone. She was quick to notice the frown and underlining tone to it. 

"What you I prepare?" She whispered back

"An open mind."


	23. Chapter 23

"This is incredible," Mrs Holt muttered under her breath for what felt like the hundredth time

Lance couldn’t help but stare at the scan in front of him. Flowers, thorns, or vines all cluttered in his chest. All around his lungs and heart. No wonder he was struggling so much to breath.

It was just the paladins and Mrs. Holt in the room. Lance requested not to involve anyone who didn't need to be there. The paladins all insisted on being there much to his displeasure.

"So the issue is... remove the plant and you remove the feeling of love yes?" Mrs Holt asked hitting down notes

"Yes... they develop from unrequited love. So once you remove them you remove the love. You run into the issue however of also removing love in general as well as memories of those you love. This includes family, friends, etc," Allura spoke staring at the screen with a frown

"Well... I know you told me you had like three months... judging by the scans from today something changed. You at best have a month. Maybe less. Give me a week to sort a plan and I'll see what I can come up with. Ideally I can try to remove the plants without removing the feelings... however that may not be an option."

"And if we can't?" Lance asked staring at the disaster in front of him

"Well... I think we can do the surgery for sure. Removing the plants is the easy part judging by the info Katie gave me. The tricky part is making sure you keep the memories and feelings. Its why the surgery fails as much as it does."

"What if we don't do it?" Lance muttered looking at his lap, "What if I don't want to forget anything?"

The room felt heavy as silence drew in. It seemed so stupid. Not doing the surgery purely to remember a stranger who didn't love him back. For Lance however... he would lose everything. His love for Keith, the other paladins, his family, and all the memories that came with it. He would just be an empty shell.

"I don't want to be an empty shell. I'm not any use to anyone like that."

"You wouldn't be any use dead either," Shiro said bluntly eyes still on the scans

"It would basically be the same thing Shiro," Lance countered

Shiro went to open his mouth but Keith stepped forward throwing a sharp glare his direction.

"Look... I know it seems stupid," Lance muttered dropping his gaze again

"You are basically willing to give up everything for some stranger none of us know. It doesn't make sense," Hunk said gently patting Lance's shoulder

"If we remove the plants... we remove everything. Basically it's a system reset. I would not be able to remember love and I would never love again. I don't think I could handle it. I wouldn't remember you all or my family. Not to mention... I wouldn't be able to love any of you after. Are you all forgetting that part. I would literally be soulless. Just like those creatures we fought before. The invincible things. I wouldn't be me. I wouldn't be happy. I don't want to live like that."

His words seemed to settle in the group. The full meaning and understanding seemed to settle. If the surgery failed they wouldn't have their Lance back. Simply a shell. Empty. One of Lance's strongest abilities was how he loved and how he showed his love for others. They would basically get back a Lance robot.

"So you just want us to what? Give up? Say goodbye?" Pidge's voice cracked slightly

Lance reached out pulling her to a hug. She settled slightly against him as he rested his chin on her head.

"We wait... hopefully they can figure out a way... if not then.... well," Lance shrugged

"How are you ok with that?" Allura's voice seemed short and bitter

Lance raised an eyebrow, "you think I am? I've accepted my fate simply because I've had time to accept it. I already had time to understand what's happening. I don't want to die but I don't want to be a zombie. I don't want to be a problem."

Keith felt stuck to the wall at this point. Observing what Lance had grown to accept and tried to get the others to accept long ago. Something Keith himself didn't want to accept. He was still determined to help Lance in every way possible. Even if it was just staying by his side the whole time. Making every moment count. Making sure Lance felt as loved as possible.

Loved

Keith felt his stomach and chest twist slightly. That's all he wanted Lance to feel at this point. Happy. Safe. Loved.

Of course he wanted him to live too. The more he thought about Lance leaving the more it bugged him. It bugged him more how easily Lance accepted the deal. He was ok dying feeling unloved.

How was that ok?

His thoughts stopped along with the talking around him as there was a sudden round of coughing from Lance. Heavy and deep. Sure enough when Lance pulled his hand away there was a full bloom.

The red flower seemed to glare back at all of them. A small bit of blood tipped the edge. Keith moved off the wall pulling forward a bottle of water he had kept from the meeting prior. Lance took it gratefully as he handed Mrs Holt the flower.

She muttered things taking notes as she studied it. Keith now on Lance’s side ignoring Shiro’s side look. He didn’t like whatever thoughts were running through Shiro’s brain. He wasn’t sure what they were but he had a feeling he would hear them soon.

“Look, give me a week and I’ll work with some of the doctors here. Maybe we can figure out something.”

“No one else needs to know who it is... ok. I don’t want to stress out my family. I just... I want to enjoy them while I can without them stressing. I’ll tell them... when it’s time but I want to enjoy them while I can. Plus I don’t think it would be good if word got out a paladin was on his deathbed. I don’t want to take hope away from everyone.”

Keith gritted his teeth as he squeezed Lance’s knee. He had such a brave face on right now. He wondered if Lance would break once he was away for the evening. He wondered if Lance still wanted to sleep next to him now that they were back on Earth. If he wanted time alone for now.

“Top secret. Got it. Now go you lot. Rest. We have a long hard battle ahead of us.”

Shiro quickly caught Keith’s eye and gave a small nod toward the door.

Looks like he wasn’t going to let Keith escape whatever talk he had planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear Shiro isn’t mean here


	24. Chapter 24

Shiro silently lead Keith outside. Behind one of the hold garages that was now used to store some lesser items. Keith leaned against it looking up at Shiro crossing his arms.

A small storm already building inside him. Unsure about what Shiro's intentions were. Shiro's opinion on Lance's condition had been firm from the beginning. Get the surgery. He had been gentle at first about trying to convince him but it looked like he was running out of patience.

Then there was the other thing he had brought up right when test of the crew found out. Keith's old crush on Lance. Keith had never openly admitted to Shiro he had gained a crush on Lance. He sorta picked it up on his own. Noting the small things Keith often did when he thought no one was looking.

Time away from Lance had let the crush wither away. No more then a soft thought of what was. Keith wasn't worried about his feelings now he was worried about Lance. Shiro... had multiple concerns.

"There are several things I need to address and I don't want you to interrupt me," Shiro began

Keith narrowed his eyed and nodded resisting the urge to shuffle his feet in the dirt.

"First... this thing Lance is doing... you have to change his mind. Convince him to get the surgery."

"His mind is made up at this point Shiro I'm sorry. I have no influence there. I've tried."

Shiro raised his hand, "This is Lance we are talking about. That boy has so much love to spare there is no physical way he's going to lose all of it. If anything he will learn to actually love like the rest of us and not so intensely," Shiro gave a small smile to Keith

"That boy has so much love in him he needs to understand that. He's not going to lose all of it just removing the memory of one."

"What if you are wrong and the doctors mess up?"

"As terrible as it is... he won't remember it was us who told him to get it... but... I just have a feeling Keith. Something is screaming inside me that he will be ok. I'm trying to have faith here and trust it. We can't afford to lose him. He is valuable to the team. Irreplaceable at this point. He's come so far as a paladin and his teamwork."

"And you don't want to deal with trying to replace the red lion's pilot again," Keith interrupted earning a glare from Shiro

"Could you believe me for five seconds that I am not thinking about the mission for once and I am actually worried about Lance and the rest of you. Specifically you."

Keith paused tilting his head giving his eyebrow a small raise. 

"Why are you worried about me? Lance is the one who's life is on the line."

"Yeah and I'm trying to find a way for Lance to live. I'm trying to be optimistic here. I'm trying to think what might work but you..." Shiro paused and sighed rubbing his hand down his face

"I'm worried about what is going to happen... if he chooses not to do the surgery. The team losing Lance... yeah we lose the red paladin and everything but we lose more then that. I missed a lot being stuck on the astroplan. I couldn't interact with Lance the way I wanted to. I could only try and I could only catch small bits of what was happening. The thing is Lance went through a hard time when you were gone. From what I gathered he was basically left alone and felt abandoned by his own teammates. Then things changed and happened fast. He got sick and you came back and things changed. He gained someone back that was willing to help and eventually everyone found out and tried to help too. He got the support back. Now I think the others realize what was missing during all that time. It wasn't just you and me but they lost Lance. Not physically but the Lance everyone came to love and care for. The Lance that was their friend. They just hadn't realized it yet."

Shiro ran a hand through his hair. His eyes looking distant as he thought and recollected himself. 

"Not to mention," Shiro looked back at Keith, "You have been the one with him this whole time. Ever since you got back. You two have even been sleeping in the same bed. Basically together even when you don't need to be. You had a crush on him before... I'm worried for you... if its coming back spending all this time with him... how are you going to handle it if he doesn't get the surgery? How are you going to handle losing him in general?" 

Keith looked down towards his feet. This was something he had refused to think about. He hated the thought of losing Lance physically... but also if the surgery failed... Lance was right he would just be a zombie. He wouldn't really be Lance. It was just be losing him anyway.

"This isn't about-" Shiro raised his hand but Keith kept on, "us as a team or anything Shiro. This is purely Lance and the key word there is HAD a crush... sorta happens when you are locked on a ship with only like five other people Shiro. Once I left it was gone. I'm fine."

"I have every right to worry about you and Lance and the others. I understand Lance's worry about... losing love," Shiro gave a soft smile and Keith wondered if there was a different meaning to it

"But... what if it works. He needs some kind of light. He needs hope going on that he might be ok. You need to get him to consider the surgery. For his sake... and for everyone," Shiro dropped a hand on Keith's shoulder

"Plus... none of the others got crushes on anyone besides Lance on Allura and Allura to Lotor... so you can't say much," Keith blushed slightly at his slight taunt

They were silent for awhile staring at each other as if waiting for the other to crack. Keith sick of silence at this point. He had too much of it when he was stuck on that stupid space whale.

Keith finally sighed letting his head rest against the wall behind him, "You act like I am the only one who can convince him."

"I honestly think you are."


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shortness the next chapter is rather lengthy

Keith shuffled his way back to the rooms after his talk with Shiro. His mind heavy with details. Of what to do. Too many questions and too many what ifs. 

He finally arrived to the room he had been shown earlier. There wasn't much room at the Garrison at the moment for obvious reasons. It wasn't much of a surprised to find that each room now held four people instead of the normal individual room. The beds stack as bunkbeds pushed on separate sides. There wasn't much room to move past that. 

Keith found that Hunk had already taken a bottom bunk Lance on the atop of it. Kosmo seemed to have teleported himself up there as well. He had originally thought they would be getting their own room. He only got the news on his way back so his plans were wacked. He had planned to talk to Lance. He had planned to sneak to Lance's room for the night just like he had been every night prior. 

No now he had to hold back.

Kosmo let a yip and jumped down landing on Keith effectively knocking him to the ground. Keith groaned under the weight when slight laughed echoed the room.

"Hey did you see Shiro in the way back? They hadn't exactly explained the sleep arrangement. We thought it was solo again but apparently he is rooming with us. Pidge is with her family and Allura and Coran were helping them they might be rooming with them," Hunk said helping Keith to his feet

"Poor Pidge," snorted Keith dusting himself off, "But no we spilt ways before hand as he had something to take care of. I'm sure he will be found."

Lance hummed from his spot up top. Keith looked up tilting his head slightly.

"Why aren't you with your family?"

"Besides the obvious issue, their room is full and I figured it is probably best to stay with you all in case the paladins need to jump into action you know."

Keith hummed in response looking at the beds across. Guess this was how it was going to be then.

The door opened again and Shiro appeared. Keith could see hints of red at the edges of his eyes. Keith frowned feeling worry rise. Had something happened?

Before Keith could open his mouth Shiro shook his head oh so slightly. He gave a small wave to the other two before heading for the bottom bunk on the empty side. He spared a quick goodnight before pulling a little curtain closed around his bed.

Keith turned to the others and shrugged. They shrugged in return sparing a sigh. They gave one more small round of detail on what was expected in the morning before giving their own goodnights.

It was weird really being back on Earth like this. Being so casual about everything around them. They were back home but it was weird. So so weird. They were just going to bed after all this. Taking a nap for the evening. Not running out right away to take back their home.

It made Keith itch. It was uncomfortable. He felt like he should be doing something more. Like helping Hunk's family or planning more. Not sleeping.

Though rest was a key part of being ready. In order to be at their best. He knew that.

But God it was frustrating

Keith huffed for the umpth time since the lights had went out. Kosmo had chosen yet again to stay with Lance. Not that Keith minded. He knew Lance needed the extra body and it gave Keith more room in his own bed. Though Keith had grown use to sleeping besides another. Which was even weirder for him to realize as it was to admit. 

Maybe that was why he felt so on edge. He was just waiting for something to call him over. He was waiting for Lance to need him again. If he would let him. If he would allow it. 

It took another hour at least before Keith could finally feel his eyes drift. He had convinced himself he would talk to Lance tomorrow. Talk to him before morning briefings. He would talk to him then... to try and convince him... well he wasn't sure of what. Convince him to stay. To try. To hope he can remember all of them after the surgery. Hope he would still be Lance.

Or would he support him in the decision to let him remain him till the end

Even if it kills him

Just as Keith's breaths were steadying he felt a sudden pressure appear by his feet with a light floosh in sound. Keith flinched wake. Hand moving for his dagger under the pillow ready to strike. Only blinking to see Kosmo with a bleary eyed Lance. 

"Lance?" Keith whispered as his mind began to catch up to what his eyes were seeing

Lance was shaking slightly. He hadn't cried out though so maybe it wasn't a nightmare. Maybe it was just a minor one at best. Something had still shaken him enough to wake him or prevent him from sleeping.

Lance simply moved besides Keith despite the small size of the bed. Curling up to his side burying his face into his chest. Kosmo turning circles at the edge forcing the boys to curl their feet closer to their bodies. He laid down with a huff as Lance also let out a sigh relaxing at Keith's side.

"What happened?" Keith asked moving slightly to make sure Lance had room

"I got to thinking too much," Lance whispered 

Keith hummed tugging Lance to him. Pathetic as it was he loved this type of contact. Something he had never sought before. Not with his father, mother, or Shiro. With Lance it was different. It was comfort. It was ok. 

Because Lance needed it just as much as he did

"We will figure it out ok. Sleep for now. We can talk in the morning. We aren't useful if we don't rest. We need to take back our home," Keith whispered feeling an odd sense of peace rise in his chest

Lance let a small huff of air flee with humor from his nose. His eyes already closing. His body relaxing into a new peace he only found in moments like this. These few stolen moments that he could savor in secret. These moments he could imagine for just one brief moment of what could be. 

Well what could have been at least

"Thank you Keith. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Lance." 


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I forget about this... slightly... am I going to finish the whole thing by next week... hopefully

Keith woke up to find Lance still softly snoring into his chest. A relaxed look on his face. Tear stains not visible on his cheeks. Kosmo stretched out on his back and legs in the air right on their legs.

Keith was struck by how oddly domestic it all seemed.

Maybe more confused by the fact he was ok with it.

He peeked over noticing both Shiro and Hunk were still asleep. It must be still early. All that time on the whale really messed with his internal clock. He fished his phone out to check the time. Heck would it even work properly on Earth? Like Earth time or... space time...

Either way 5:44am flashed around him. Not really helpful as to where but he took his best guess and hoped it was accurate.

He stretched out his toes as feeling a few pop. Kosmo huffed annoyed at the action and blinked over at Keith. Keith wanted to stretch fully but there was still a Lance on his chest.

Would it be rude to wake him?

Keith couldn't ponder on it more because there was a small whine from Lance who tightened his grip on Keith's shirt for a moment before relaxing. He seemed to slowly blink himself to life and look up. Keith noting the dazed and distant expression in his eyes.

"Hey Kosmo teleported you over here early in the night."

"Oh sorry," Lance said pulling himself off of Keith creating a safe amount of space between them

"You know not to worry about it," Keith could only really muttering fully sitting up

Lance looked around noting the others still asleep. Stealing the chance to fully stretch himself before heading toward the ladder.

"Guess we should get ready. Do you know the time?"

"Not sure if the space phones really work here. If so it's almost six."

"Let's take a gamble and say it matches up," Lance said landing on the floor moving to his set of clothes the Garrison had found for them

Much needed at this point honestly they didn't really have much in space. You could only wash things so many times for they got a bit too worn out.

"What do you think the plan is for today?" Keith asked joining Lance looking at his new uniform

"I think they mentioned a meeting. Likely will want to talk to us some more. Training probably," Lance listed stripping his shirt

"Think you will be able to sneak off for a proper reunion with your family?" Keith asked also changing his shirt

"I hope so... I'm kinda nervous about it though I guess. Plus there is still so much to do. We need to get the Galra out of here. There are still too many families trapped by them like Hunk's. It almost doesn't feel right to get to spend time with them you know... when everyone else is still without theirs."

"We will take care of it don't worry," Keith said dropping a hand on Lance's shoulder before turning around so he could change pants as well

To think he would have been flustered years ago changing in front of Lance. Now it had happened so often he had started memorizing the patterns on Lance's scars.

"Yeah... we still got a lot to do," Lance cleared his throat but cursed slightly coughing as he buttoned his pants

The talk with Shiro flashed in Keith's mind for a moment.

Could he really do that? Convince Lance to have the surgery. Potentially lose memory of everyone. To never love again.

Could they really afford to lose him though? As a paladin... or friend...

Keith felt his heart stutter slightly at the thought of Red having a new pilot. Him having to have a different right hand man. A new sharpshooter. Someone new by his side...

He couldn't...

He could only see Lance

"Hey Lance-"

They both jumped however at a sharp yawn. Hunk stretching in his bed blinking up at the bed above him.

“I’m not dreaming... we are on Earth right?”

Lance chuckled slightly, “Yeah buddy we are on Earth.”

“Do you all ever sleep?”

They all looked over to a grumbling Shiro pulling the blankets over his head.

“What’s wrong grumpy? Wrong side of the bed?” Keith teased

A pillow was aimed toward his head but he easily caught it and tossed it back. Lance laughed but cleared his throat quickly. Flowers likely trying to make an escape.

“Come on. I’m sure breakfast will be available soon,” Keith said looking back down at the time on his phone

“Oh yes real food. Human food. I’ve missed it so much!” Hunk sighed dreamily rolling to the floor with a thud

Lance snorted turning to the door, “I’m going to see if my family needs anything. I’ll see you in the cafeteria.”

The door slide shut behind him and Shiro pulled the blanket back from over his face. He gave Keith a look as Hunk stood stretching. His back popping slightly as he turned each direction.

“What?” Keith asked pulling on his jacket

“Did you talk to him?”

“No.”

Shiro sighed and Hunk stripped his shirt joining Keith grabbing his his shirt from the pile.

“Talk about what?” Hunk asked sliding on the new shirt smoothing it out

“To try and convince Lance to have the surgery,” Shiro answered finally moving from his bed

Hunk’s face rang with surprise. He looked between Shiro’s serious and annoyed face and Keith’s scowl.

“You really think he will change his mind?” Hunk asked

“No but Shiro is pretty hell bent on trying.”

“Look... it’s worth a shot. Really. Is the person he loves so much really worth dying for?”

“To him it is,” Keith defend feeling his temper flare already

“It’s not like happy endings always exist anyway. Probably easier not to fall in love ever again.”

“What is with you this morning? Not enough coffee yet? Didn’t get the warm welcome from your ex you thought you were going to get? Didn’t save the world just by showing up?” Keith’s words fell out of his mouth before he could monitor them

“Hey guys knock it off,” Hunk tried but Shiro had already straightened up and his gaze seemed far at Keith’s words

“Adam’s dead... so yeah I stand by what I say,” Shiro grabbed his clothes and headed straight out the door without another word

Guilt swarmed over Keith. He didn’t know. He didn’t know Adam was dead. His words had a different type of bite than he had meant for them to have.

Is that why Shiro was pressing this too? He really thinks it would be easier to never love again?

“Who’s Adam?”

“Shiro’s ex fiancé... they had a fight and sorta broke it off right before Shiro went missing. I didn’t know he died.”

“It was probably in the initial invasion. It’s not really your fault you didn’t know,” Hunk said placing a hand on Keith’s shoulder

“I still shouldn’t have said it.”

“You shouldn’t have... but you can’t take it back now.”

Hunk sighed and went back to changing. Keith stood awkwardly against the dresser waiting. Might as well. Probably wasn’t right to leave Hunk alone. Maybe he was just hiding his own fear and guilt of running into Lance or Shiro again too.

“Do you really think you can convince Lance to get the surgery?”

Keith jumped slightly not realizing he had zoned out. He bit down hard enough on his lip it drew blood. Kosmo finally teleporting to the floor to join him.

“Do you think I should?”

Hunk paused slightly before gathering his jacket and smoothing the patches. He looked over it one more time before slipping it on.

“I think we need to figure out a way to save Lance. Even... even if it’s not the way he wants.”


	27. Part 27

Keith wasn't aware Lance with kids was becoming a favorite thing... but it definitely was.

Lance's family seemed to be helping in the kitchen to serve everyone. When the Paladins arrived some of the younger ones squealed and ran for him. He caught them twirling them around before placing them on his hip.

A small part of Keith wanted to tell Lance to take it easy. Not to over do it for the sake of things. At the same time however the scene was enough to bring a small smile to Keith's face. So who was he to interrupt.

Keith nodded slightly to the lady who handed him his tray and he made his way to sit besides Pidge when Romelle and Allura walked in. Keith was surprised to noticed Romelle twisting her hands together and locking on to him. She breezed over just as he sat leaning over.

"Can I please speak to you either before or after the next briefing? I wanted to talk to you earlier about it but we kinda got hit with the electrical issues and suddenly Earth was there and well... you know," Romelle waved her hand slightly through the air

"Um sure? Is there a problem?" Keith asked

Romelle nodded slightly to Lance who was finally getting his tray despite the kids now hanging off his legs, "I figured out something but I need to talk to you privately about it."

Romelle walked off before Keith could respond giving a small nod to Lance as she headed for the food line where Allura was already waiting.

"Uncle Lance," the older nephew whispered still attached to his leg as they approached the table, "Is this ok?"

Keith looked down at the two clinging to Lance. His heart squeezed at the sight of them clinging to him. Keith felt his eyes widen slightly when it did. He didn't even like kids.

"Just behave. Keith won't bite but Pidge might," Lance said sticking a tongue out at Pidge

Pidge scowled and flipped him off behind her cup. Hunk walked by right in time to smack her hand. Sitting down next to Lance with a sad smile as he looked down at the small ones still attached to Lance's legs.

"Hey you two. It's been a long time!"

"Hi Hunk!" They squealed burying their faces into Lance's leg

Hunk chuckled and lightly chatted with the pair having to look under the table slightly at them. Lance smiled softly before finally turning to his breakfast.

"Everything good this morning?" Keith asked digging into his as well

"So far. I think they plan on doing another meeting than they want to take some of us out to scout the area. Some of us are staying behind to relay more information," Lance said before breaking off into a soft moan as he bit into a strawberry

"I've missed Earth food," Lance sighed

"Me too," Hunk joined in as he too sighed biting into his own strawberry

"What did you all eat in space," one of the kids whispered from under the table looking up at the group

"It was green goo. Not as good as strawberries but you got use to it," Lance winked at the pair below

"Speak for yourself," Pidge muttered

"Green goo? Like the stuff that comes from ghosts?" The other added

Keith snorted slightly earning a slightly look from Hunk who shook his head but smiled as well.

"It was better than the stuff that comes from ghosts," Lance said poking their sides earning giggles

"Does that mean you've eaten ghost goo," Keith teased

Lance poked his tongue out at him as the pair giggled louder finally poking their heads over the table to really look at the rest of the group.

This was nice. An odd feeling rose through Keith at the thought. Seeing Lance like this. Happy and carefree teasing and chatting with children. It felt like one of the few times Keith got to see the real Lance.

The real Lance... did he even know what that meant himself?

Keith has always seen what Lance wanted him to. At least at first when he didn’t have such a secret to hide. When he was difficult to read to start. At least that’s what Keith had thought.

Keith hadn’t about getting to know Lance when they were first thrown together as Paladins. They were forced to obviously. Then something shifted. Keith never really knew what it was or when it started but it was tiny. So damn tiny.

When Keith had realized he had grown attached that the crush had begun he panicked. What else was he supposed to do? It was Lance he didn’t have a chance anyway. So when the Blade gave the offer he took it so quickly. It was the easiest way pull himself out of it.

And it worked....

Till now at least

Keith felt his hand spams in his lap. He’s sure his eyes widened so he quickly dropped his gaze to his lap. Away from the sight of Lance with kids. Only for memories to swarm back to the surface.

The ones from the whale. The ones that didn’t make sense. The ones with Lance smiling at kids that weren’t the ones under the table. The ones with Lance smiling at he assumed was him. Hair slightly grey and age to his eyes. The ones of a summer at the beach with him and a toddler dangling her feet as the ocean licked her toes. Ones of him by a Christmas tree dangling a mistletoe in front of him.

Oh...

“Keith you good?”

Keith nodded slightly knowing he was far from good. Pidge took the nod as his answer and turned back to the group conversation.

Shiro was right. When he mentioned it back in space. Keith just hadn’t seen it yet. He had forgotten it. Could you forget a feeling like that? Was that a possible thing to do? Forget what a crush was?

His feelings for Lance were still there...

They might even be stronger now than when he had left.

But it didn’t matter

His crush didn’t matter

Lance was in love with someone and it was going to kill him.

Lance’s feelings didn’t belong to Keith.

Keith wouldn’t call his crush to the point of love. Still just a crush...

But it didn’t hurt any less

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	28. Part 28

"So what did you need to tell me?"

Keith was stretching out on the gym floor where Romelle had joined bouncing on her toes slightly. She peeled around for the billionth time making sure they were alone.

They should be. They had been doing a patrol getting a feel for the arena and such. Planning was also happening elsewhere but a lot of people were taking advantage of the break time to hit the showers or be with their families.

Keith knew he had left Lance just outside his family's room with Veronica. He only had one close call with the flowers and Veronica. They had passed it off as dust from the Earth and him not being use to it after being gone for so long. All the whole Lance quickly stuffed the bloody flower in his pocket before Keith stole it safely tossing it before they moved on.

"About Lance... I have an idea or a hint of something I'm not quiet sure how well it will work because I realized when I started thinking about it what all it could mean."

Keith sighed looking up from the floor at Romelle's face. She still looked nervous and distracted basically focusing on all the workout equipment around them and not Keith.

"Is it about how I can convince him to do the surgery because I'm all ears."

"He's not going to do the surgery," She snorted

"I don't think he will either. Shiro wants me to try and so does Hunk. I'm... trying to think of a way to convince him to give it a shot... I honestly think it will just end up with us yelling at each other and I don't want to do that," Keith laid fully out on the floor crossing his leg on the other side of him popping his back

"What if... what if I think I know what the flowers are for?"

Keith paused counting slightly in his brain before sitting up again and turning to Romelle. She hesitated but looked down at him from her spot. She glanced to the door then back at Keith as if in a hurry. 

"What?"

"I think I know who the flowers are for... Right before that electrical wave hit us and tore you all apart from the lions. Literally the day before we got to Earth I noticed something. Lance didn't fully deny it at least at the time either."

"Deny what? I thought it was some random alien girl he met on his travels. That's what he told me. That's what he told all of us."

"Well... look I think I know why he didn't say anything before you get mad at him," Romelle whispered finally crouching down to look at Keith eye level, "Think about it. Unrequited love."

"Yeah we know he loves someone and they don't love him back," Keith felt a new sense of annoyance run through him

It was Allura wasn't it. After everything Lance lied saying it wasn't Allura but here Romelle is saying she knows who it may be.

So it had to be Allura

"Exactly... have we thought that the reason he didn't say anything about who exactly it was... is so they don't feel guilty?"

_Guilty?_

"Guilty? For what?"

"For being the one slowly killing him over something they can't control. Over a love they can't fake or force."

_Oh_

"Think about it Keith, I haven't even know Lance that long but I can see, and I know how deeply he loves and cares for others. I can see him not saying it out of embarrassment for himself yes... but he's likely thinking of the other person too."

"He doesn't want them blaming themselves if he dies over it," Keith concluding letting his body slide back to the floor string at the ceiling

"Exactly," Romelle whispered

"Well," Keith rubbed his hand over his face, "We just don't tell Allura."

Romelle cocked her head and looked down at Keith again, "What?"

"We don't tell her... but maybe we give them a chance. Set them up on dates. Send them out together all the time. Keep them together and maybe... maybe we get luck and she falls in love with him."

"Keith it's not Allura," Romelle looked like she was about to hit Keith upside the head

Keith sat up again with a frown, "Wait, I thought you said you knew who it was?"

"I'm pretty sure I do yeah... but it's not Allura. It's not some strange girl..."

"Then who the hell is it?" Keith growled

Romelle twisted her hands and bite her lip. She looked over her shoulder several times at the door. Buying time or making sure they weren't interrupted Keith wasn't sure.

"Keith... I really want to tell you... but it's not my place to say."

Keith buried the palm of his hands into his eyes trying to force the pain growing in his brain to go to sleep as he laid back on the ground yet again in defeat. His brain running through everyone they had met on their travels.

"Then what the hell is the point Romelle. I'm trying to help him but I can't if I don't know who. If we have a chance here let's take it and run. We can't risk loosing him!"

"I know I know," She whispered, "Look... I promise keep doing what you are doing. Try to talk to him about the surgery... but maybe... start looking outside that box you have everything in Keith. See how he acts with everyone. Please. Keep doing what you are doing but don't forget to take care of yourself too. How would you feel if he was gone?"

"Please Romelle," Keith was surprised to hear his voice crack he definitely couldn't lift his hands now

He felt a small hand reach for his shoulder giving it a slight squeeze, "We will figure it out Keith. We will. We either get the person to realize they love him or we convince him to get the surgery."

"What if they don't love him back? What the hell do we do?"

He could hear Romelle chewing her lip again. She gave another slight squeeze to his shoulder before standing. He carefully pulled away his hands and sat up when he felt it was safe to reveal his face again.

"I think... I think they almost do. I think they have been slowly falling in love. I think they are standing right at the edge of the cliff and we just need to find that tipping point. I will help find that tipping point ok. Just please Keith. Keep him alive till then."

"I'll do my best."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	29. Part 29

"Hey can we talk?"

That was probably the most nerve wracking question people can get. Mainly because it can stem to a lot of different possibilities. Including heartbreak.

Luckily for Lance it wasn't like Keith could break his heart more at this point.

"Yeah sure," Lance whispered from his spot on the floor where he had been sitting with his cousins

Most had fallen asleep at this point. The movie in front of them flickering feebly. Apparently the Holts had dug up some old disks and movies to keep the younger ones entertained as their parents dealt with the war around them.

Anything to give them a little peace at least.

Keith lead Lance toward the same place Shiro had taken him the first night they arrived. Keith rubbed his hands on the inside of his jacket trying to clear them of the sweat but if anything it made it worse.

They had only been there a few days. They had a plan that was supposed to go in effect tomorrow. Minor mission with big hopes obviously. Mrs. Holt said she was getting closer to an idea of the surgery plan for Lance.

So now felt like a time to say something.

"Please don't be mad," Keith muttered as he fully faced Lance

"Why what happened?" Lance tilted his head to catch Keith's eyes

It only seemed to make him feel worse

Keith took a breath to steady himself. So much had changed since they first stepped into the blue lion. He made so many mistakes. He had fought so much that he exhausted himself only to have to get up and fight again.

Thai was going to be a fight. He could feel it.

He didn't want it to be.

"Mrs. Holt checked in with me today because she couldn't find you," Keith started

"Oh yeah. I was on scouting duty and then clean up. Then obviously with my family. Sorry what did she need?"

"She said thinks she almost has it. That... she might be able to do the surgery without tampering with some of the feelings at least."

"Some? Which would she be removing," Lance seemed to pause fiddling with his fingers slightly

"She still can't figure out the source love. You know the love that's causing the problem," Keith ran a hand through his hair wincing slightly

He needed a hair cut

Lance winced as well looking toward the ground, "It's nice of her to try at least," He muttered

"Look Lance," Keith raised his hand slightly letting it hover in the air

It hesitated before falling back to his side. Lance simply staring at him. The stupid look in his eye.

The look the screamed he had simply given up.

There was no hope in Lance's eyes

"Lance I'm begging you. Even... if she doesn't figure it all out. Even if you have to go through life forgetting that one person. Please go through with the surgery."

Lance sighed rocking back on his heels, "Keith I thought I explained it all."

"Yeah yeah about the not wanting to be an empty shell. I get that and I don't want that for you either just..."

Keith sighed looking at his feet. It was really pathetic. That he was trying to rein in his emotions like this. That he had to keep stopping to breathe so he would lose his cool.

“Lance I... we can’t lose you... we really really can’t. Not us not your family not... we just... we can’t Lance,” Keith whispered finally looking back up at Lance

Lance’s eyes seemed slightly wide at Keith words. The honesty and desperation that seemed to drip from the as he hardly whispered them into the evening air.

“Keith.. it’s not that easy.”

“Look, I’m just saying if all you have to lose is the memory of that one person. That one idiot who apparently doesn’t love you enough is it really the end of the world Lance? You lose the memories of that one person. The love for that one person. That’s what is being offered right now. Mrs. Holt says she might be able to save the rest so it would just be that one person. Why can’t you just let them go?”

Keith felt his voice shake. Anger and despair taking over. Whoever Lance loved likely didn’t deserve his love anyway.

As much as a pain in the ass Keith thought of him at first even he had realized what Lance could really be.

He was incredibly bright. He was happy. He was caring and loving. He would go out of his way for anyone at the drop of a hat and expect nothing in return. He might joke about it and act all cool about things but he really was just soft and gentle.

He deserved love. He deserved to be loved by someone who loves him back. He didn’t need to cling on to the idiot who didn’t love him. Obviously they were morons to begin with.

“You act like it’s easy Keith. Like it’s easy to just say goodbye to all the memories and love you had for someone so damn special to you. Like you can toss it aside like it was nothing!”

“Because I’ve never had a love like that Lance! I’ve never deserved something like that! You... you have a chance here... to get rid of it and find someone who is worth your love Lance. The idiot doesn’t who you love probably doesn’t deserve it anyway!”

Lance went to respond but paused mouth wide open. He rocked back slightly looking up at Keith.

“So your saying... whoever I love doesn’t deserve my love. You are also saying... you don’t deserve a love like that...” Lance let the words set in the air a moment

“They don’t deserve your love because obviously they don’t know you well enough Lance,” Keith recovered realizing where Lance was going with it, “That’s on them. Romelle... Romelle told me it wasn’t some stranger. That you know who it is.”

Lance’s eyes widened and he took a few steps back

“Look I don’t know and it’s not my business... but Lance if it really is Allura just... take her in a date or something I don’t know. I don’t know how any of this stuff works ok. Just hang out with her or... Lance I don’t...” Keith rubbed his hands down his face

He sucked at this he did. He knew what he needed to say but getting the point across was painful. He didn’t understand half of what was going on

“It’s not Allura,” Lance whispered

Keith really just wanted to sit on the ground with his head in his hands but there wasn’t time for that.

“Then who Lance? Who are letting slowly kill you? Are they even worth it?”

Lance’s face seemed to relax slightly under the odd questions. He stepped a bit closer to Keith letting a hand drop on his shoulder giving it a small squeeze.

“They are definitely worth it.”

Keith huffed glaring slightly at Lance who simply giggled. How could he change the tone of this so quickly?

“What did Romelle say exactly?”

“Just that you actually knew who it was. That there was a chance you could get them to love you in return.”

Lance snorted and rolled his eyes, “I don’t know about that... they are kinda thick.”

“Lance this isn’t a joke,” Keith muttered

Lance gave a soft smile, “I know but joking helps.”

Lance released Keith’s shoulder looking over at him carefully.

“This is really bugging you isn’t it?”

“Why the hell wouldn’t it Lance? I don’t understand why you are so casual about it all. Why everyone else seems ok with you doing this. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Is it because... you say you’ve never loved and don’t deserve it?”

Keith flinched looking away, “That’s different ok. Some people... they were born to be loved and love. I was never taught it nor did I ever figure it out... so love is something that escapes my understanding sometimes.”

“Do you ever wish you could feel it?” Lance asked head tilted toward the sky as the stars began to come out for them

Keith followed his gaze but not without taking Lance in. They had only been back on Earth a short while and Lance seemed to bloom here. It almost hurt.

“I can feel it... it’s just...” Keith closed his eyes as his face was pointed toward the sky

How can he explain it... the feel of him trying to love. 

“You know how people say you take the plunge like you are diving into a cold pool?” Keith started

Lance nodded tilting his head slightly

“For me I guess it’s more like being shoved off a cliff into the middle of the ocean. No land nearby.”

“So you drown?” Lance asked

“I get overwhelmed. I don’t handle it well. I suck at it. I don’t know what to do with it all it’s just... there.”

Keith shook his head focusing back on Lance, “But that’s not the worry right now. We are focused on saving you.”

Lance gave a loopy smile as he reached forward and looped an arm oddly over Keith’s shoulders.

“Look I’ll work on maybe... trying to convince who I love to pull their head out of their ass so they can love me back. The dates and such you suggested.”

Keith frowned, “Your making fun of me aren’t you.”

“Yes,” Lance wagged his finger out in front of them, “But only if we get to work on you learning to accept love.”

“We are in the middle of a war Lance we don’t have time for all that,” Keith rolled his eyes

“Your the one trying to hook me up with whoever I love in the middle of a war.”

“Yeah to save your life idiot!”

Lance couldn’t help but giggle a bit at it.

“Then consider it a dying wish?”

“Absolutely not,” Keith said escaping Lance’s arm

“Fine fine listen,” Lance spun facing Keith again, “I will work on sweet talking the idiot who is killing me. I’ll think about the surgery. Only if you try to relax a bit more. Alright?”

“That’s a stupid compromise,” Keith grumbled

“Well?” Lance stuck out his hand

Keith sighed stretching his out and shaking Lance’s waiting hand.

“Fine. But I don’t see how me ‘relaxing’ helps you.”

Lance still held on to Keith’s hand as he grinned.

“Well... let’s call it a guess.”


	30. Chapter 30

It was the calm before the storm.

After the talk with Lance that night Keith went to be bed waving off Lance's offer to finish the movies with his family. He didn't want to interrupt them.

They had one final briefing tomorrow before they were going to attempt to spy a bit more on the operates on Earth. Apparently Veronica was coming along and Lance already wasn't too maybe about it so Keith figured he would let them be for the evening and hopefully they would figure it out.

Shiro and Hunk already getting ready for bed. Kosmo off doing who knows what. More than likely curled around one of Lance's cousins. The stupid thing hardly knew what other humans were and suddenly he found a ton of tiny ones... he was in heaven.

He shouldn’t have been surprised at this point because right before he drifted off to sleep there was the sound and feeling again of Kosmo teleporting into his top bunk. Keith didn’t even have to open his eyes to feel Lance with him.

He simply scooted over opening an arm up for Lance to hide in. Honestly the more Keith thought about it he was glad he was such an early riser. It would be difficult to explain how Lance ended up in his bed every night.

Sure when they were in the lions and they first found out about Lance and his curse of slow death they noticed Keith sleeping in Red not Black. The difference was then only Shiro really knew it was a nightly thing and he already had words about it.

The others didn’t need to know. Honestly Keith was pretty sure if Hunk found out Lance slept with Keith every night he would complain that he didn’t receive the same love. Keith was sure it would end up as a giant sleepover and the thought annoyed him.

Was it because he would have to sleep with a ton of other people? Maybe. Was it because he would lose one of the few times of the day he had Lance peacefully to himself? Absolutely not... at least yet...

As much as he didn’t like to admit it to himself he rather did enjoy this nightly thing. He and Lance curled into each other with Kosmo at their feet. Keith honestly was starting to worry if he would be able to sleep soundly once Lance managed to get the one killing him to love him in return.

It was selfish... but he wouldn’t mind letting Lance sleep with however it was even if it left him alone again

“Night Keith,” Lance muttered

“Night,” Keith hardly managed back

Savoring the heat and contact that came from this part of the evening. Keith couldn’t help but think that this was what he had been missing for most his live. Things like this that he had seen and felt in the whale but could never put an official memory too. These were the moments.

And it was promptly after about a full minute after that thought crawled across Keith sleep lagging brain did his eyes snap open

The hell kind of thoughts were that

He glanced down at Lance making sure he was still resting. He was sure he wasn’t fully asleep yet.

Sure enough Lance’s eyes were closed. Mouth slightly open. Keith knew a small bit of drool would eventually trickle down during the night.

He couldn’t help but keep his gaze on Lance’s peaceful face. Something he’s been seeing a lot more of as of recent.

But what the hell was all that?

He had a crush... at one point at least he knew that. Even then though he didn’t crave this. The cuddling and warmth and happiness that seemed to come with it.

He had just thought Lance was attractive and wasn’t as shitty as he once thought.

He knew the feelings were sneaking back up on him. He had felt them the whole time and Shiro had so kindly point it out to him.

But why was this different... were the feelings technically... different?

It’s not love right?

People talk of love like it’s magical. Butterflies and the world stop spinning crap. The light of the world and only thing that matters. Like they would rather die than be without the person.

This isn’t that.

This is partnership. He likes Lance by his side. He doesn’t want to replace that. He looks forward to the stupid little things Lance adds to his day. The consistency, the warmth, the safety... but that’s not love... right?

Love was obsessing over smiles and touches. Love was obsessing over small moments and desires.

Love was... not this...

Right....

Right?

Keith squeezed his eyes trying to think. He didn’t understand any of this. There wasn’t like a notebook he could look at. Sure he could ask Shiro but he’s sure he would be teased over it.

Besides... if it was love Lance wouldn’t be suffering.

He wouldn’t be dying if Keith was actually feeling love.

It would be Keith’s fault if he was

Keith let out a slightly shaky breath feeling Lance shift closer to him. Lance curled into his chest with a sigh. It was weird that the boy was now shorter than him but it was nice for stuff like this.

Keith let himself tighten his hold on Lance slightly feeling Lance melt even more into him.

This was nice... too nice

But it didn’t matter... if this was love... if Keith was feeling love than Lance wouldn’t be suffering like this... which means Lance must love someone else

Someone that wasn’t Keith

So all this... didn’t matter anyway

Keith’s feelings didn’t matter right now. So he would push them down for the sake of things. He doesn’t understand love... but it must not be this

It wasn’t what Lance was feeling at least

Besides... love just seemed like a mess. A waste of time and emotion. Too much trouble to be worth.

Keith sighed closing his eyes again letting his thoughts be buried under whatever he could blanket it with.

Besides...

Who Needs Love Anyway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my Twitter for updates https://mobile.twitter.com/XRider_Official
> 
> Want more writing or early updates of longer works?  
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End file.
